What follows is a faithful account of the production of Issue 9 (taking place the evening of Nov. 6/early morning of Nov. 7.) as witnessed by me, The Pioneer’s Editor in Chief.
3:54 p.m.: I hear titterings of a live-blog. I am reminded that I need to start another live blog. Hooray for keeping the EIC in check!
3:59 p.m.: Backpage Editor Molly Johanson has brought production night snacks. She’s brought carrots, Cheetos and Reeses Pieces. Do you see a theme here? ORANGE. Molly is all about the themes.
4:08 p.m.: Opinion Editor Kyle Seasly looks at Opinion Production Associate Jess Faunt’s email inbox. He is astonished that she has no unread messages. My reaction: Is that not normal?
4:09 p.m.: Molly did not bring in Reeses Pieces, they’re actually called Mini Reeses Cups. My bad.
6:11 p.m.: Whoops, I left the office and forgot to hand off the live blog to someone else. Well, I’m baaack!
6:36 p.m.: Matthew takes over.
6:37 p.m.: Sarah makes passive-aggressive comments about Matthew being in charge of the live blog.
6:38 p.m.: Are Cheetos considered chips?
6:51 p.m.: Pam enters the News Room, and –– as usual –– all attention shifts to her. All hail self-proclaimed queen.
7:03 p.m.: Kayvon wants to be on the blog.
7:08 p.m.: Shelly now knows how much ads cost.
7:15 p.m.: Shelly leaves for class. She has nice mittens that were gifted from her sister.
7:18 p.m.: Shelly dons her mining headlamp in preparation for guest speaker in Senior Seminar.
7:19 p.m.: Karah returns with curly fries.
7:29 p.m.: Pam copy edits live blog…
7:34 p.m.: Realization that when Shelly’s not around, there’s nothing to write about.
7:35 p.m.: Pam claims she’s blind.
7:36 p.m.: Karah curses “all of you” for finishing the Reese’s minis.
7:39 p.m. MASS CONFUSION ENTERS THE NEWSROOM WITH LUKE.
7:40 p.m.: We’re all heros.
7:52 p.m.: Luke discusses if he’s really a hero or not.
7:52 p.m: Skye makes reference, alluding to the fact that he actually reads this blog.
7:55 p.m.: Quin is upset with lack of Reese’s, asks “is this a sick joke?”
7:58 p.m.: Skye tries to take over live blog. Pam doesn’t let him.
7:59 p.m.: Pam is livid with previous exaggerated comment.
8:01 PM ______ The heist. Luke TAKES OVER…. grammer and spelling goes out the window. time 4 some illustrations or sumthing. THE REAL HERO OF PRODUCTION NITE IS HEAR.
8:03 PM Pam doesnt believe cheetos r made w/ real cheese. i dont believe cheetos r reall food. i hate cheetos.
8;04 pm. Marianne returns <3 my mentoo so proud of her. she starts to flirt with sean about sexy phones. so proud.
8;14 “i could have a secret boyfriend… u never know.” — PAMELA.
8;15 “nice.” – luke (me) (hero of #productionnight)
8;18 just released i spelled mentee “mentoo” lol.marianne is not a mento (the candy, she’s not one). skye n’ matthew thought i did it on purpose.
8:43 p.m.: Foreseeable Wednesday-night website crash…
8:54 p.m.: Let’s get down to business. I (Pam) take over the Live Blog, immediately noting the irony of how the last post talks about the website crashing on the website.
8:57 p.m.: Sports Editor Quin and PA Marianne lament the lack of puns and alliteration on the sports page this week. Illustration Editor Luke says as official Headline Specialist, he ought to have been consulted.
9:09 p.m.: A giant bug tries to make friends with Marianne. She is not amused.
9:24 p.m.: Sean tells Marianne she did a good job this week and sends her home.
10:38 p.m.: Skye is currently online shopping at H&M with the goal of putting together a complete outfit by the end of the night.
10:39 p.m.: Matthew re-takes over, so now there will actually be updates.
10:40 p.m.: Shelly’s mom doesn’t want her driving home. Skye has a a”cute driver’s license,” according to Pam. Pants are flying off in the News Room.
10:41 p.m.: Shelly goes back to the third grade.
10:55 pm.: Shelly, Karah and I discuss weirdest front-page ever.
10:57 p.m.: Karah is still here. “That’s news.”
11:35 p.m.: Drowning under copies of newspapers on the main tables in here.
11:56 p.m.: Issue 13 will be the Reese’s issue.
12:00 a.m. MIDNIGHT. Anyone want to deliver a quiche to the News Room?
12:19 a.m. Vomit discussion commences.
12:32 a.m.: Shelly can’t believe my sister is my sister.
12:33 a.m. Karah and Ben depart. No last words.
12:35 a.m.: Hannah departs. “Che had many epic last words.” I think that’s what she said? Beginning to become incomprehensible approaching 1 a.m.
12:36 a.m.: Shelly and Pam laugh hysterically on the disgusting couch. I’ve never seen them act like this before.
12:37 a.m.: Is anyone even reading this? Shout out to Natalie’s mom!
12:38 a.m.: Shelly laments, “I’m really hungry.” Matthew eats pita chip crumbs while sanitizing everything in order to avoid all twenty viruses going on around campus.
12:44 a.m.: Shelly and Matthew yawn together.
1:36 a.m.: Sarah departs. I don’t remember her last words.
2:02 a.m.: Copy editing is finished! Pam, Shelly and Sean finish up with PDFing. Goodnight!
