Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whats getting left out: my fantastic ideas

What’s getting left out: my fantastic ideas

Grace Canny, Humor Writer May 4, 2023

I have had one or two hits in my storied career as a Wire Humor Writer, but what if I told you that everything you’ve seen is just a fraction of what could have been? Each issue, we Humor Writers...

Majors as niche mythological gods

Samantha Fitts, Humor Editor May 4, 2023

There’s one thing I love in this world, and that’s knowing more about something than other people. The special interest I have chosen is mythology, and as such, I am now kin-assigning you to a god...

Tell me your favorite color, and I’ll tell you your purpose in life

Carmel Stephan, nose knotting April 6, 2023

Missed the CCEC meeting on finding your purpose? No problem! That’s right everybody, I’m offering my special, clairvoyant services this one time completely free of charge. You’re welcome. If your...

5 great tips to keep the ghouls away

Ian Lewis, only a little buzzed March 9, 2023

I know what you’re thinking: “How do I avoid the ghouls?” If there’s any singular problem which haunts this nation, it’s the ghouls. You are assaulted by them every single day, whether they’re...

Illustration by Anika Vučićević

32 ways to be productive during a Zoom “class” with your camera and mic off

AE, Creature April 14, 2020

Watch seasons one through six of "Sex and the City." Watch the first "Sex and the City" movie. But don’t watch the second "Sex and the City" movie!! Manically disinfect all of your door...

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