Whitman Wire

Illustration by Ally Kim.

Let’s talk about billionaires

Angel Baikakedi, Columnist November 11, 2021

Before we go any further, I would just like to put into context how much a billion is. In simple terms, a billion is equivalent to one thousand million, which, come to think of it, is a lot on its own....

Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

Lee Thomas, President of PALT (the People Against Lee Thomas) organization September 16, 2021

Jeff Bezos, the "self-made" billionaire, shocked the world when he shot a load of metal into space with himself inside. While he only lasted a few minutes, many have been speculating over what this means...

So you’re going to have to poop in college and other first year dilemmas

Carmel Stephan, Shit or get off the pot please. September 16, 2021

This summer, as you sat your bare ass down on the porcelain throne, it may have occurred to you that this level of comfort would soon cease to exist. You wouldn’t be pooping in your private residence...

The Wire sold to Jeff Bezos

Conor Bartol, Be seeing you around  April 1, 2021

Dear Readers, We are sad to announce that, as of the publication of this week’s newspaper, The Wire will no longer exist. Shockingly, Jeff Bezos has purchased The Wire for a mere $15 and has chosen...

Illustration by Lanh Tran

Amazon announces plans to purchase Whitman College

Elise Sanders, Dictionary Memorizer February 10, 2020

Walla Walla has been buzzing since Jeff Bezos and Kathy Murray signed an agreement to sell Whitman College to Amazon in order to increase funding for the school. The student body, however, is very divided...

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