Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Vol. CLVI, CIRCUIT
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Fielding Schaefer, Humor Writer

All content by Fielding Schaefer

In skepticism of the DEI industry

Fielding Schaefer, Senior
May 4, 2023

Gmail will alert students about misleading emails this spring

Fielding Schaefer, Obama Thanker
November 19, 2020

Whitman prodigy drops out to pursue political Instagramming full-time

Fielding Schaefer, 1 read equals 1 hungry child fed
November 5, 2020

Trump’s ‘Fake News’ was just The Wire humor section all along

Fielding Schaefer, Trump’s favorite news faker
October 29, 2020

The key to an in-person spring semester: Remote Zoom sex

Fielding Schaefer, Mr. Tough Guy, Huh?
October 15, 2020

Unexpected guests in Jewett Hall Airbnb

Fielding Schaefer, Jewett Athlete’s Foot Survivor
October 1, 2020

A climate-denier’s guide to all this smoke

Fielding Schaefer, who swears he didn’t write this
September 24, 2020

Marcus Whitman statue posted to listserv scribbled burgundy in MS paint

Fielding Schaefer, Fake Housewife of Beverly Hills :(
September 17, 2020

Local man to sell his antibodies online

Fielding Schaefer, Professional Quarantinist
May 6, 2020
Illustration by Lanh Tran

To increase accessibility, OP will host initiation in wilderness of Ankeny Field

Fielding Schaefer, Arc’teryx Rep Dude
March 12, 2020
Illustration by Hannah Paul

Tips and tricks to get the best bang for your buck at Cleveland Commons

Fielding Schaefer, Dry-Erase Board Supremacist
February 27, 2020

my.Whitman ups its stalking potential by listing crush’s current location

Fielding Schaefer, Writer Of Real News
February 13, 2020
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