Whitman prodigy drops out to pursue political Instagramming full-time

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It’s official. We all saw it coming that Junior Sociology Major Lena Holmes would eventually leave our silly institution and move on to bigger and better things. The student dropped out this past week to pursue her new noble career: political Instagramming. Watch out world — Lena Holmes is now showing us what she’s really got. 

Holmes has spent her college years refining her professional Insta-skills: posting AOC tweets, promoting the latest liberal hashtag, reposting all ten photos of an educational feed to her story at once and ending every political statement with the word “period.” Everyone knows it: she’s a true self-taught visionary. But for too long she’s been strapped to balance her activist account with the burdens of her liberal arts education. This past week, however, brought about her breaking point, and Holmes can now do full-time, what she calls, “Instagram educating.” 

The prodigy expressed criticism towards the political “bubble” at Whitman in her recent post’s caption, writing “Why try to spread ideas and issues to a ton of apathetic Whitties who all agree on everything? I’ve had enough, it’s time to take my messages global.”

On Instagram, Lena will be able to expand her audience. Of her 619 followers, she reaches not only 343 Whitman students, but also family members, old friends from her prep high school and some randos who follow accounts that use #ACAB hashtags. 

The prodigy saw the election week as the perfect time to make the life transition. “We must stand up now or never, and engage in the REAL work. True activism takes place right here. On social media. Not just some bourgeois private college.”

It’s a shame that we lost such a powerful political voice on campus. Holmes will be known for believing that Black lives mattered, climate change was bad and that Trump was a big threat to democracy. Though disappointing to watch this unique radical go, we can rest assured knowing that her Instagram stories will help the world move great mountains for social justice.