The Wire, as an institution for students, by students and in students in some cases, presents this message to its readers with care. Care that we know what provides more troubles than any overdue assignment, coughing hazard or delayed move-in – the outside world. People from this place can be quite rude at times, and in the worst cases bring feelings of depression or revulsion. Sometimes these people can be reasoned with, pulled away from the toxic and self-destructive habits that make them difficult to approach. But other times, when these folks are just too far up their butts, there is only one piece of advice we can provide.

Press the Block Button, Dummy!

To further press our point to you, humble reader, we provide to you a series of examples where this advice is sound and reasonable.

Getting bombarded with advertisements that make you feel the only way to really improve yourself is to buy what is being advertised? Press the Block Button, Dummy!

Being harassed by someone asking what’s in your pants, who won’t take “Evil”, “Spare Change” or “Determination” as valid answers (which they are)? Press the Block Button, Dummy!

Being sent unsolicited images of old men in big, expensive suits kicking puppies and bunnies and other cute critters? Press the Block Button, Dummy!

Just can’t stand that one guy who uses that one time they were right about something to justify their opinions, even when those new opinions are absolute crap? Press the Block Button, Dummy!

Tired of seeing people in the comments of a post of you having a nice and scrumptious meal, changing the subject to how your participation in the most violent Canadian protest means you deserve to go to the dungeon for eternity? Press the Block Button, Dummy!

Thinking about replying for the octillionth time to somebody who, in objective terms. Just. Won’t. Get it? Press. The. Block. Button. Dummy!

To kindly summarize: Press the Block Button, Dummy!… But preferably not on me. I don’t want a big button pressed onto me again.