LETTER FROM WEB

To the students of Whitman College,

In a scheduling snafu which could otherwise be described as a giant fuck up by one of the members of the Whitman Events Board, the upcoming New Pornographers concert will not be going exactly as planned. Instead of booking the indie rock musical group of that title, a certain member of our staff accidentally booked actual pornographers. Due to contractual obligations, the fact that we’ve already invested time and effort into advertising, and the fact that the guy who booked this already paid the wrong “Pornographers,” we’re gonna have a show anyway. Same time, same place.

This will still be a stage performance, as the pornography production company we hired specializes in real time, exhibitionist pornography. For that reason, your presence is greatly appreciated! The biggest changes we expect from our shift in acts is that on-stage performance can be variable, and the music is going to likely suck balls. The actors and actresses are also likely to do just that. Nonetheless, it’s going to be a huge spectacle!

Hope to see you there,
The Whitman Events Board Staff