Meghan Kearney, adjusting next year’s wishlist
• February 1, 2024
Twas the night before break, and all through the campus, not a student was stirring – except me.
My night began with a lack of holiday spirit, with my eyes glued to the clock of Phi Delta Theta,...
Will Lanstra, Bolton’s booty call
• February 1, 2024
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. You wake up at 1 p.m. realizing that you hit the snooze maybe a couple times too many on a test day. It’s ok. It’s a part of college. But now you gotta un- Fuck...
Grace Canny, out of the fridge freezer and into the blizzard
• February 1, 2024
I bet right about now you’re cursing yourself for abandoning the temperate climate of Portland/The Seattle Area/The Bay to come here, where it occasionally gets snowy and cold. I have survived 22 winters...
As Whitman’s colorful cast of campus characters reshuffles with the return and departure of various studiers-abroad, many students are noticing a group of gangling goggle-wearers marveling at the...
Truth be told, I watch a lot of romance. With that said, it’s surprising I hadn’t seen the 2003 holiday hit, Love, Actually, until last week.
I wasn’t expecting much, but was open to liking...
George Groebner, unprofessional cryptozoologist
• December 7, 2023
Experts can now confirm that the College Creek footbridges, acclaimed for their two-person traffic jams, are also the abodes of several bridge trolls. News of these cryptids’ discovery has spread...
Meghan Kearney, David Attenborough in liberal-arts form
• December 7, 2023
Ah, Whitman College; it is here we find ourselves in the heart of academia, observing the fascinating ecosystem of a liberal arts college. Amidst the lush intellectual foliage, we discover a particular...
Hi Readers,
We here at the Humor section may joke around, but we take our work very seriously. Despite our best efforts, we have made many factual errors and lapses in journalistic ethics this semester....
George Groebner, mild-mannered alter ego
• November 16, 2023
After being eluded for months, Whitman Security has finally apprehended the Sign Switcher, the shadowy mischief-maker responsible for the replacement of campus signs with other campus signs. Interrogation...
Carmel Stephan, Psychological analyst
• November 16, 2023
For those who may not know, there is a magical thing called the enneagram, and it categorizes all personalities into 9 types. Fill this out and you’ll discover your enneagram type!
1. I...
Grace Canny, cranberry jelly lover
• November 16, 2023
The week we get off at the end of November always comes at the right time: when you are literally falling apart. So why would anyone want to spend one of those precious days traversing the harrowing...
Someone should fire me, and preferably a man.
I initially applied as a humor writer for The Wire with the aim of joining the feminist cause, challenging the long-running stereotype that women aren’t...
