Conor Bartol, once a former admitted student myself
• April 4, 2024
Admitted Students Weekend is coming up, which means gaggles of teenagers running around, gawking at people and asking silly questions like “what’s your major” and “why is that horse made of sticks?”...
Like many of you reading this, I often find myself pining for the good old days, before newfangled technology like printing presses and disease immunization made our lives so long and complicated....
George Groebner, mild-mannered alter ego
• November 16, 2023
After being eluded for months, Whitman Security has finally apprehended the Sign Switcher, the shadowy mischief-maker responsible for the replacement of campus signs with other campus signs. Interrogation...
Hello to all you readers of The Wire! Another academic year at our four-year-degree-granting-institution-of-choice has started and the buzz of ~1500 young people fills our campus again. Whether you’re...
Sammy Fitts, Doing Normal Humans Things
• March 10, 2022
Tragedy struck this weekend when three ducks were reported missing. The brothers, Huey, Louie and Dewey, are being mourned at Hunter Conservatory. The suspected culprits are the sharks residing in...
Conor Bartol, Proud Time-Traveler since 2045
• April 22, 2021
Spring has sprung and the ducklings have hatched! As we welcome a new generation of the most important creatures on campus, remember some simple rules for what to do, and what not to do, with our new...
Conor Bartol, Fastest Pun in the West
• February 18, 2021
While grappling with financial instability, Whitman College is facing criticism for creating a program to make tiny clothes for the ducks in Lakum Duckum.
In a statement released by the College, President...
On Monday, March 20 at 3:28 A.M. the first rays of sunlight crossed over the equator into the Northern Hemisphere, signaling the onset of those myriad feelings known as “Spring fever.” Soon, to quote...
The new fountain in Lakum Duckum may have a bigger impact on Whitman students than one may think. Apart from being visually pleasing, it also has ecological, aesthetic and health benefits. These include...
While Whitman is by no means a large campus, the local lingo and affectionate campus aficionados can be a lot to take in during the first few days, and locations are often critical during the bustle of orientation.
