I love the fall. It’s my favorite season, especially in Walla Walla. Walking downtown with my coffee in hand, breathing in the crisp air and gazing at all the leaves on the ground that crunch beneath my feet. There’s another reason, however, and that’s because every October my partner and I watch the animated series Over the Garden Wall together. I even have a watercolor painting of it in my office. Beyond being a cute show and an easy watch, there’s a quote from it that I latch onto and remember each time I gaze at that painting in my office.

In one of the earlier episodes, one of the characters, Greg, alongside his brother Wirt, rescues a dog. Greg comments that the dog is his “new best friend,” and almost immediately the dog wanders off into the woods. Rather than getting upset, Greg simply watches the dog wander off and wistfully says, “Ain’t that just the way?”

I love this quote because it’s a reminder that there is power in acknowledging our present circumstances and that very acknowledgement can help us through them. Greg demonstrates a form of radical acceptance and mindfulness of the present moment. This can take some practice. It’s not easy to look at a tough situation and say essentially, “It is what it is,” but it can be helpful.

In fact, acknowledging our distress by saying “I am angry right now” or “I am anxious right now” may seem trivial, but it can actually lower the distress we feel from that experience and help engage our emotional regulation.

In other words, it is a useful tool to be able to not only have an attitude of attentiveness to the present moment but also to allow that attitude to be marked by curiosity, openness and acceptance.

I like to explain that curiosity is the great diffuser. It’s really difficult to be angry at someone when you’re genuinely curious about their experience or perspective. Similarly, if you are feeling anxious, it can reduce your anxiety to be curious about what’s happening in the present moment.

If you are having trouble engaging in mindful awareness, I find that a good place to start is recognizing that “why” questions tend to be much more judgmental towards ourselves than “what” questions. If you told someone you were upset, wouldn’t you rather hear, “What’s going on?” not, “Why are you acting this way?” We ought to afford ourselves the same kindness.

I’ve spoken here about self-compassion before, and mindfulness is an excellent way to practice this. If we can be genuinely curious about what is going on around us, instead of focusing on the often judgmental why, it becomes much easier to handle, and we are much less likely to blame ourselves.

As with most things, it can be easier to start small. It may seem daunting at first to practice mindfulness or radical acceptance during a personal tragedy, and sometimes, we do need to grieve. But perhaps the next time you spill your coffee in the morning or forget something at home, you can channel your inner Greg. Be aware of what’s happening inside of you and name it. Afford yourself the kindness of being curious, open and attuned to the present moment. And if it feels appropriate, allow that moment to be what it is. “I dropped my coffee,” “I can’t find my keys” or “I forgot my laptop.”

They’re simple acknowledgments of our present reality that may help us accept them. So whether it’s “It is what it is” or, as my partner would say, “That’s showbiz, baby,” mindfulness and radical acceptance are powerful tools in your coping arsenal.