Whitman Wire

After 3 Weeks of Intense Love-Making, the Dreaded ‘Talk’ Comes Up Again, and The Whitman Student Body is Here For It!

March 7, 2019

They had met at an outrageous Whitman party. Hormones surged as the potential couple began to high-key grind on each other. It all happened in a split second. The next morning they were spotted at Cleveland,...

Whitman Student Relocates Third Time in One Hour After Getting No Homework Done at Previous Location

February 28, 2019

Martha has sh*t to get done before Spring Break. Last Saturday, Martha was resolved that she would at least get her reading and paper outline done. She reportedly sprung from her bed and headed out of...

Mystery Solved: Professor revealed to be garden gnome

February 24, 2019

In the beginning, there was the sense of suspicion. Dressed in an elaborate linen lederhosen, and topped with a homemade knit cap, Professor Chuckles L. Smiley only drew stares from her classes. Rumors...

Whitman changes mascot to Shrek to break Whitman bubble, integrate local onion culture

Illustration by Nathaly Perez
September 28, 2018

Wednesday, 4p.m. — In response to the student body’s outcry for a change, President Kathy Murray and Dean of Students Kazi Joshua have issued a joint statement declaring that Whitman College’s mascot,...

Sorority Recruitment Kicks Off With New Acrobatics Portion of the Selection Process

September 24, 2018

Disclaimer: The Wire must disclose that the author of the following article did not “get into” the sorority she wanted during rush. But she is NOT bitter. She made that very clear to us. Well, it’s...

Area dog owners fed up with unpaid labor

September 23, 2018

A crisis in unpaid labor is gripping the Walla Walla area. Exploitative practices and unchecked privilege have led to the abuse of some of the area’s most important workers: dogs. For 150 years,...

87 Percent of Students Crumbling Before Our Very Eyes

April 12, 2018

Tuesday, 12:47 a.m.: At least twelve-hundred Whitman students have spontaneously turned to sand over the last two weeks. As papers and tests pile up, the confusing phenomenon has ravaged the campus, leaving...

The Future of Encounters

The Future of Encounters
Review documents, as well as interviews with numerous faculty, show the philosophical and political stakes of the debates around the future of Whitman College’s “signature program.”
March 8, 2018
Review documents, as well as interviews with numerous faculty, show the philosophical and political stakes of the debates around the future of Whitman College’s “signature program.”

Tokenization in Greek Life

March 1, 2018

As an international student, my idea of Greek Life was very tainted. On one hand, you had the rich, stuck-up jocks who took pleasure in being called “Frat Boys” and in hazing pledges. On the other...

Pio Past: Contextualizing the Symposium

Pio Past: Contextualizing the Symposium
February 19, 2018

"Assuming that the seriousness of racial issues can be measured by the publicly visible incidents brought to the attention of our entire community is problematic." -Veronica Willeto, published on Nov....

Narcissa Whitman Painting Defaced

Before restoration. Contributed by The Cultured Pearl
October 31, 2017

On the morning of Monday, Oct. 9, Prentiss Hall custodians arrived at work to find that the portrait of Narcissa Whitman hanging in the Great Room had been defaced overnight. Accompanying the black spray-paint...

Re-thinking Children and Childhood

September 28, 2017

Children can teach us a lot, yet we always assume the role of teacher. Too often we get caught up in the small inconsequentials of life, that can profoundly deplete our energy. But children, more often...

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