Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Alicia Buchter.

Best ways to indicate wealth for spring break

Grace Canny, definitely not compensating for anything March 2, 2023

So you’re wondering how best to display your upper-middle class wealth over spring break? Here are three ways that you can get everyone thinking you are really cool -  like so awesome - they definitely...

Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

Kathy Murray caught in Cancun with Ted Cruz

Rachel Husband, Team Buffalo Chicken (I’m sorry) March 11, 2021

Kathy Murray has been missing for approximately one week.  Upon the release of the Financial Sustainability Review and the subsequent student and faculty protests, our esteemed President has been incommunicado...

Stunning poll shows winter vacation was ‘fine, thanks’

Trevor Lewis January 29, 2015
Readers, I know that many of you have searched far and wide to learn about the quality of your acquaintances’ winter breaks. Well, look no further! A new study funded by the national organization AAST (Americans Against Small Talk) has found conclusively that winter break was “fine.” As a dedicated member of the press, I felt obligated to investigate further. That is why I met with Chet Barker, world renowned iguana breeder and the brains behind the recent poll.
Illustration by Luke Hampton

Summer Movie Preview

Nathan Fisher May 2, 2013
The summer brings an action and laugh-filled movie list.
Illustration: Alex Bailey

“The Cabin in the Woods” surprises with satiric, bloody good time

Nathan Fisher April 19, 2012
In my vast experience as a movie reviewer (eight months) and 19 years of movie watching, I never—NEVER thought I would recommend, let alone voluntarily go see a horror movie. Well, "The Cabin in the Woods" changes all of my preconceived notions about horror flicks—it was amazing, albeit scary, gory and bloody.
Load More Stories