NFT degrees offered at Whitman College

Grace Canny, Non-Fungible Person

The Whitman College Board of Trustees has just released very exciting news. To set Whitman apart from every other somewhat selective liberal arts college located in a small to mid size town in a mostly rural area, degrees are now available as a non-fungible token (NFT).

Starting with the Class of 2022, degrees will no longer be made out of paper! Instead they will be available on Whitman’s brand new Flexx blockchain. In tandem with the new NFT degrees, a new cryptocurrency system will be launched, using the old Flex dollar as the basis. This means students can use their swipe cards as their digital wallet, and use the rebranded Flexx in Cleveland Commons and Reid Cafe.

The Board is very proud of this new endeavor. NFTs provide many advantages, like now you have a little tiny version of the degree that no one could ever screenshot or take away!

Additionally, NFT degrees make it easier for those students who just want a degree from Whitman. As long as you pay Whitman College $285,000 (accounting for the Flexx dollar inflation rate), the degree is yours! No need to waste time learning, making friendships and developing as a person for 4 years.

The only possible downside to this ingenious improvement is how it will impact Whitman’s energy consumption. Often these digital transactions use a hefty amount of electrical energy. By some estimates, one transaction uses the same amount of energy a US household uses in 24 hours. The electricity bill will likely be pretty high in May. To combat this, Bon Appetit announced they will disincentivize use of their plastic to-go cups by spitting on you when you get a cold drink. Also, the college will be saving money on that special, fancy paper that only a degree from a small liberal arts college in the pacific northwest comes on. And, by ceasing paper degrees, they will be saving trees!

Chief Financial Officer of Whitman College Peter Harvey said, “We, as an institution, are very excited about the options this presents us, even though we aren’t in financial trouble and the FSR was a scam. We feel NFTs really align with the financial ethic of this college and are pleased to offer degrees in this format. “