Things to think about while holding in your pee
May 5, 2020
So, you have to pee. That must be why you opened this article. Well, I know you’re not going to get up and go to the bathroom – you’ve got to be on your phone! Here are some little nuggets to mull over whilst clenching that urethe (short for urethra).
- Take a peek at Instagram.
- Mosey on over to Twitter.
- Admit to yourself that “Ocean’s 8,” while a fun feminist #win, was not quite up to par with the male version.
- Come up with a few things that would make life more satisfying (baking, meditating, not looking at your phone).
- Look up things on your phone to buy that would make life more satisfying.
- Imagine the color of your pee.
- Imagine your pee being reabsorbed into your body, thus removing the need to drink more water.
- Look up if that really works.
- See if there are any apps you haven’t opened in a while.
- Consider going back to making smoothies.
- Remember what it’s like to clean the blender.
- Read a horoscope.
- Almost pee just a little bit — then hold it back!
- Isn’t it weird that your lips are chapped when you need to pee?
- Holding in your pee is bad, right?
- Look up the difference between your liver and your kidney.
- Move legs slightly toward the bathroom.
- Visualize standing up and walking to the bathroom.
- Wait, I don’t need to pee anymore!
- Run to the bathroom.
Those are just my little p-tips. Oh, you were looking for q-tips? Well, you’re on your way to the bathroom anyways!