So, you have to pee. That must be why you opened this article. Well, I know you’re not going to get up and go to the bathroom – you’ve got to be on your phone! Here are some little nuggets to mull over whilst clenching that urethe (short for urethra).
Take a peek at Instagram.
Mosey on over to Twitter.
Admit to yourself that “Ocean’s 8,” while a fun feminist #win, was not quite up to par with the male version.
Come up with a few things that would make life more satisfying (baking, meditating, not looking at your phone).
Look up things on your phone to buy that would make life more satisfying.
Imagine the color of your pee.
Imagine your pee being reabsorbed into your body, thus removing the need to drink more water.
Look up if that really works.
See if there are any apps you haven’t opened in a while.
Consider going back to making smoothies.
Remember what it’s like to clean the blender.
Read a horoscope.
Almost pee just a little bit — then hold it back!
Isn’t it weird that your lips are chapped when you need to pee?
Holding in your pee is bad, right?
Look up the difference between your liver and your kidney.
Move legs slightly toward the bathroom.
Visualize standing up and walking to the bathroom.
Wait, I don’t need to pee anymore!
Run to the bathroom.
Those are just my little p-tips. Oh, you were looking for q-tips? Well, you’re on your way to the bathroom anyways!