Top 5 candies to hand out for a bitchin’ Halloween


Illustration by Hannah Paul

Elise Sanders, Allergic To Not Having Fun

Do you feel a disconnect from this generation’s youth, so great that you don’t even know what to give them on Halloween? Well, don’t you worry. Take my advice, and your house will be the most popular on the block.

  1. Circus Peanuts

Kids love these classic treats.  Nothing brings joy to their faces quite like a house that hands out chewy, orange circus peanuts. In fact, they love them so much, their tongues reflexively stick out once they receive them because they are just so eager to eat them! 

2. Candy Corn

Kids love candy corn. A lot. So much so that they’ll go into a frenzy at the sight of it. It’s safest just to throw it at them when they get into this state; they’ll sort it out amongst themselves. 

3. Toothpaste

Who doesn’t love the fresh, minty taste of toothpaste? Hand these out on Halloween, and you’ll have kids coming back to your house for more! Not only does it serve a practical use, but it’s also a tasty treat! Some children will squeeze the whole tube on their tongue and eat it, so make sure to have plenty of Colgate on hand!

4. Dixon Ticonderoga No. 2 Pencils

Don’t even bother buying pencils with spooky erasers or Halloween-y designs. Dixon Ticonderoga are practical and tasty. Absolute perfection!

5. Tetanus booster shots

Kids love preventing tetanus! Just make sure that they don’t break open the needle and start chugging the fluid inside, because they’ll do that!