6 Tips for Improving Your Self-Sabotage Skills this Spring
April 19, 2018
- Day drink
- Drunk classes are way more fun. Plus, that way, the hangover kicks in right when you would do your homework, which will make it virtually impossible to do!
- Skip class
- Ah, an oldie but a goodie. Need I say more?
- Stop wearing sunscreen
- Don’t believe the science! UV rays are good for you!!! Also, who cares about wrinkles? I wanna look like a sun dried tomato by the time I’m 34.
- Start the Buttermilk OnlyTM cleanse
- It’s like that cleanse Beyoncé did for Dreamgirls where she only drank spicy lemon juice, but you’ll be way gassier.
- Start calling all your professors “mom”
- They are always surprised and sometimes upset. Surefire way to have to end up in Juli Dunn’s office xD
- Superglue your Make America Great Again hat to your scalp
- In these trumpultuous times, find solace and stability in knowing you are always denouncing humanity and wearing your heart on your sleeve.
