Drunk classes are way more fun. Plus, that way, the hangover kicks in right when you would do your homework, which will make it virtually impossible to do!
Ah, an oldie but a goodie. Need I say more?
Stop wearing sunscreen
Don’t believe the science! UV rays are good for you!!! Also, who cares about wrinkles? I wanna look like a sun dried tomato by the time I’m 34.
Start the Buttermilk OnlyTM cleanse
It’s like that cleanse Beyoncé did for Dreamgirls where she only drank spicy lemon juice, but you’ll be way gassier.
Start calling all your professors “mom”
They are always surprised and sometimes upset. Surefire way to have to end up in Juli Dunn’s office xD
Superglue your Make America Great Again hat to your scalp
In these trumpultuous times, find solace and stability in knowing you are always denouncing humanity and wearing your heart on your sleeve.