Nobody in politics class sure how to pronounce “hegemony”

Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writer

EVERYWHERE IN MAXEY — 

Releasing one enormous, resigned sigh as class discussion turned to the concept of hegemony, members of POL-130 collectively buckled-up for what was sure to be 40 grueling minutes of wild guesses as to the pronunciation of the key conceptual term.

“If I’m being honest, despite completing nearly 100 pages of reading this week that featured the word ‘hegemony’ prominently, I have no clue how to pronounce it,” said one junior politics major, clarifying that his complete and utter uncertainty would in no way effect the number of times he referenced the term as he “racked up those sweet, sweet participation points.”

Other students, though equally flabbergasted by the four-syllable behemoth of a word, soldiered on through class, in the words of their professor, “like champs.” Preliminary reports indicate that upwards of 25 separate pronunciations of “hegemony” were vocalized during the class period, setting a Whitman Politics departmental record and drawing the attention of several world-renowned linguists.

Said one prominent etymologist, “What is truly astounding is the rapid proliferation of these pronunciations, particularly in a class of just 15 students. We’re looking at a rate of nearly 1.6 pronunciations per student here which is absolutely unheard of.” The class reportedly experienced a turbulent few minutes when the spectre of a new, strange version of the word was unearthed: “hegemon.” At press time, however, a heroic first-year student had swooped in to rescue the class from almost certain intellectual doom, heroically redirecting discussion to the cozy safety of neoliberalism and its discontents.