Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 5
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Pioneer Opinion Editor Kyle Seasly Shows Up for First Sunday Meeting of Semester

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just junior Opinion Editor Kyle Seasly showing up for his first Pioneer budgeting meeting of the semester.

Members of the Pioneer editorial and managerial board expressed surprise and excitement over Seasly’s appearance, noting that Seasly sauntered into last Sunday’s budgeting meeting on March 30 unaware of the shock on his peers’ faces.

“We’ve really missed him, you know? He’s like the blood of our organization. Me and him? We go together like peanut butter and pickles. It’s just not the same without him,” said sophomore Sports Editor Quin Nelson.

Seasly notes that he can’t make Sunday budgeting meetings because of his work with Whitman’s outside catering business Bon Appétit, but says he’s surprised that so many people noticed he was missing.

“I mean, I didn’t think so many people cared about me. We’re always listening to Luke [Hampton,  the illustration editor,] share his sparkly happy moments of the week that I didn’t think people even bothered to notice I was gone,” he said.

Sophomore News Editor Sarah Cornett says she has seen Seasly on Friday nights at the Beta Theta Pi fraternity, weeping over a bottle of pumpkin spice Blue Moon, frustrated at his lack of ability to attend budgeting meetings.

“He just looks so sad. I feel really bad. I wish I could help him,” said Cornett. “But it’s not like I could lead his section. He’s really opinionated, so that’s why really only he can lead the Opinion team.”

Senior Photo Editor Catie Bergman noted that Seasly has been missing from a number of Pioneer staff photos. When she offered to Photoshop him in, he refused.

“I was trying to be nice and include him, but he was very adamant about keeping the picture ‘natural’ or something. He said that it wouldn’t be true to the moment. I think he was trying to be existential or something,” said Bergman.

According to Hampton, playing “Sparkle, Farkle,” a game in which the staff shares their highs and lows of the week will take longer, but will ultimately be more interesting.

“He’s such a well-traveled and knowledgeable guy. He brings this whole new dimension to the board that I love watching. He’s just so cool. I wish I could be his friend,” he said.

While Seasly says that his appearance at last Sunday’s meeting is abnormal, the love and adoration he has experienced has inspired him to try coming to more Sunday meetings.

“I might have to have my dog stand in as a substitute at Bon App, but I’ll make it happen, someway. Everyone’s just so great,” he said.

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