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I was born two days after Valentine’s Day and I cannot remember a birthday when everything went right. I am convinced, perhaps some would argue unreasonably, that the hype surrounding Valentine’s Day and the entire month of February is the reason that I have eventually grown to dread this month.
Last year, I forgot to fear the outcome of the month of February, and a week into the month, my entire world fell apart (though only temporarily…it was quite tragic at the time). This year I have attempted to remain true to my optimistic nature, but in the span of three days was subjected to a number of unfortunate events. Therefore, I maintain my dislike of this.
I argue: Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. Companies like Hersheys and Hallmark wait every year for the month of February when they can pull out the pink hearts and sappy “I love you forever and ever” cards. There exists an immense pressure to demonstrate your love through gifts and material objects. American culture is incredibly materialistic, and eventually we are going to have to accept it, or move to Canada.
Defenders of the holiday refute the commercialism by arguing that, every once in a while, it is all in good fun to show someone we love them through the materialistic route. This I cannot argue with since every Christmas my bank account dwindles because I enjoy buying things for the people I care about.
Of course the real point of Valentine’s Day is not to support Hersheys and Hallmark, but to let people know that you love them. What I do not understand is why we have to wait for a special day in February.
Why not tell people that you love them any old day of the week? That, after all, would be much more of a surprise, since not every couple in America would be waiting in anticipation for a token of affection.
Come to think of it, bringing home flowers and chocolates on a random Tuesday would probably make your significant other feel much more special than on Valentine’s day when such gifts are expected.
Yes, every couple is different; and hopefully each “I love you” card is individualized. But what about celebrating birthdays and anniversaries? Aside from the random Tuesdays, people never seem to run out of reasons to celebrate; and in these instances the celebration is actually unique for each couple, not simply commercially manufactured.
Another misconception associated with Valentine’s is that it sucks for singles. I would argue
against that. Valentine’s Day is the best day to be single. Singles are not suckered into an obligation to celebrate. When in a relationship, ignoring Valentine’s Day is horrendously offensive to your loved one. We are taught to believe that those who do not
receive a plethora of chocolates are lonely and unloved. In reality, being single is the way to go. The single life is free from the responsibility of making the day perfect, making the single life, the guilt-free life.
February is a great month for people to get together: consider the really excited man who decides to propose on Valentine’s Day (ah, how cute). It is also a terrific month for people to find reasons to break up. Valentine’s Day creates an obligation for couples to celebrate, to be happy and genuinely in love. Valentine’s Day suggests, on one day, you have to be the perfect person for your significant other, and this is intimidating. Individuals in relationships that are not going as well could start to re-evaluate them.
People who feel like they cannot live up to the socially constructed demands of Valentine’s Day start to consider that maybe they cannot meet the needs of their relationship. Valentine’s Day becomes a good excuse for people who do not know where their relationship is headed. If they feel like they cannot show the required amount of love on one day, then clearly the relationship is not going to work at all.
Because we never stop to consider that perhaps not all people like to demonstrate the amount of love and affection that Valentine’s Day requires, the concept generates fights and breakups throughout the entire month. For those who decide to live up to expectations even if they don’t want to, the display is fake, the celebration of the relationship false. On Feb. 14, we are told that for one day it is our responsibility to love everyone, but this love is not truly genuine. Pick a nice Tuesday, make their birthday extra special, but celebrating Valentine’s Day is not the honest and best way to tell someone you care.
