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Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLVI, CIRCUIT
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

Students embrace “dicks out for Harambe”

Ben Freedman, humor page editor October 20, 2016

  Nearly five months have passed since the world lost Harambe, our last true hero. In honor of this milestone, The Wire turned to Whitties to recall the legacy of our fallen gorilla comrade....

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Clara Wheeler, staff writer October 20, 2016

“Nothing is black and white!” shouted protestors this Saturday, carrying signs painted with all the colors of the wind on various colors of poster board. A couple of them included pictures of pandas,...

Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

Whitman Admissions to Accept Vinyl Collections in Lieu of SAT Scores

Trevor Lewis, Staff Writer October 5, 2016

As soon as he started looking at colleges, Tanner Ackerman knew Whitman was for him. However, after ironically quaffing one too many mang-o-ritas from a mason jar the night before, Tanner found that standardized...

Nobody in politics class sure how to pronounce “hegemony”

Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writer October 5, 2016

EVERYWHERE IN MAXEY --  Releasing one enormous, resigned sigh as class discussion turned to the concept of hegemony, members of POL-130 collectively buckled-up for what was sure to be 40 grueling minutes...

Whitman Health Center to Hire New Staff

Clara Wheeler, staff writer September 29, 2016

The Whitman Health Center is looking to hire several new staffers to deal with the seasonal influx of stuffy noses, sore throats and “a whole bunch of other gross drippy stuff we don’t want to touch,”...

Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

How to Stand Out at Whitman

Megumi Rierson and writer September 22, 2016

Going to Whitman can sometimes feel like going to school in a fishbowl of millennials that all look like various permutations of the same clean-cut, upper class millennial hive mother. Everywhere you...

Whitman Overhauls Image with New Mascot Ideas

Clara Wheeler, staff writer September 15, 2016

Recently, the former Whitman mascot “the Missionaries” was deemed a mark of past times, a time when people killed others due to cultural differences. Luckily, we have advanced since then and the age...

Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

Seasoned Campus Liberals Gear up for New Year of Political Apathy

Megumi Rierson, Staff Writer September 8, 2016

The advent of the new school year brings with it the return of Whitman’s famously liberal, politically-engaged student body. The campus becomes a treasure trove of meaningful political discussion sparked...

Trustees want YOU! (to think they care)

Megumi Rierson, staff writer May 5, 2016

Whitman has recently undergone a number of name changes to the various campus institutions that promote a history of colonialism and a general white supremacist attitude. There’s that fun line slash...

Wolves Successfully Observe Sabbath, Crush Heathens

Austin Biehl, staff writer April 28, 2016

Last Saturday the WWU Wolves faced off against the Whitman Missionaries in a Club Volleyball match that once again proved the necessity of the #prayforwhitman campaign so generously instigated by the WWU...

Whitties Helping Non-Whitties

Megumi Rierson, staff writer April 28, 2016

As a humor writer for the Whitman College Pioneer (we’d love input on a less-racist name change, by the way), I am a vociferous proponent for making fun of the Whitman student body. Every day, I am bombarded...

Sheehan Gallery Presents New Pretentious Modern Art

Clara Wheeler, staff writer April 21, 2016

In order to increase the number of visitors that flow through Sheehan Art Gallery like nonexistent molasses, the Whitman art department is announcing some new installations of modern student art. The director,...

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