Students embrace “dicks out for Harambe”

Ben Freedman, humor page editor

 

Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash
Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

Nearly five months have passed since the world lost Harambe, our last true hero. In honor of this milestone, The Wire turned to Whitties to recall the legacy of our fallen gorilla comrade. In a recent string of interviews, students were asked to shed their own insight into our generation’s simple but poignant Internet slogan, “dicks out for Harambe.”

Junior Lorman Thomas shared his thoughts first, “Dicks out for Harambe is more than just a statement of phallic solidarity with a western-lowland gorilla – it is a call for change. Harambe was only seventeen years old, but he led his life with a sense of grace and humility that I could only dream of. Somewhere, somehow, I like to think he’s smiling down on me – no, on all of us.”

Another student believed that the only way to understand the analytical complexity of “dicks out for Harambe” is through an understanding of Foucault’s theories on subjectivity. “By making the rhetorical move of taking our dicks out, we are staging a protest and moving beyond our societal conditioning of viewing Harambe as something to be objectified. Then and only then can we even begin to recti fy the existential harm we have brought upon our community,” said the eager Politics major.

A first-year from Portland added, “who the @#$! is Harambe again?” before fondly recalling that the gorilla was, “pretty majestic looking, and probably still would have a better chance of being elected to office than Jill Stein.”

If you are like many folks, and would like help from the community, there is good news. In a calculated effort to win support for their sorry attempts at social justice, the Young Republicans Club will be putting their hard earned family dividends to good use and throwing a “remembering Harambe” event at Reid Ballroom Friday afternoon. The lunch is completely catered with Harambe’s favorite treats; bark, an assortment of leaves and virgin martinis.

As we approach the half-year mark of this tragedy, it is difficult to pin down the tangible effects of losing one gorilla from a Texas zoo. But, as a slightly inebriated Whitman dean said after stumbling back from a Friday night of Bob Dylan karaoke at Ming Court, “It doesn’t take Harambe to know which way the wind blows.” And what that truly means? We might never know.