Whitman Wire

Illustration by Madi Welch.

Actors who should play Mario instead of Chris Pratt

Sammy Fitts, Single (X) Taken (X) Gamer(?) October 7, 2021

The internet cried out on the Sept. 23 2021, when Nintendo announced that Chris Pratt would be the starring voice in the Super Mario Bros movie. There is obviously one major problem with this casting:...

Introducing Whitman’s new mascot: Perry the Possum

Ben Kearney, Contracted Rabies While Writing This Article October 7, 2021

After weeks of deliberation, Whitman has decided on decapitating the missionaries and turning the Blues' frown upside down in favor of a fresh, new and drippy mascot to increase enrollment for the class...

Little Lad who likes Berries and Cream announced as special guest for campus dance workshop

Carmel Stephan, Could go for some berries and cream October 7, 2021

September’s biggest Tik Tok sensation, The Little Lad who likes berries and cream will be coming to Whitman for a workshop in body form and character building. Jack Fervor, the little lad themself, is...

Students share concepts for improving Cleveland Commons

Students share concepts for improving Cleveland Commons

Lee Thomas, Lee Thomas's clone October 7, 2021

Cleveland Commons is back in full swing, with reusable dishes, indoor seating and the beautiful salad bar all available again. And yet, one cannot go a day without hearing someone complain in some...

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