Whitman Wire

Club Disbands After Members Exhaust Dating Options

Martina Pansze April 1, 2016
Following a press release on Tuesday, the Whitman Alpine Luge Team (WALT) will be disbanding indefinitely.

I Love My Mom

Jack Swain, staff writer February 18, 2016

I took a shower today. The walls of my shower are made of square tiles. Some of the tiles are white and some of them are light blue. There is a circular metal shower-head at the top of the shower. There...

Backpage rant: Lifestyle choices survey edition

Kyle Seasly February 19, 2015

It's that time of year again when the dude who is rumored to be Kris Kristofferson's long-lost brother sends out an email entitled "Whitman Lifestyle Choices Survey." When one imagines the Whitman lifestyle,...

The Backpage pontificates

Kyle Seasly October 30, 2014

Dear Backpage, I feel like a dolphin caught in a six-pack ring. Thank Oceanus I have you guys. Anyway, this girl I'm into acts like I don't even exist. We were partners in Encounters when we discussed...

Whitman College wins award for economic homogeny

Trevor Lewis September 25, 2014

When I discovered Whitman College was ranked first in economic homogeneity out of 91 excellent schools, I was so overcome with elation that I almost spilled cognac all over my ocelot fur robe (that's...

News Briefs

Molly Johanson April 3, 2014

Styx takes vacation to visit family at PDX Airport "I haven't seen my sisters in years, so I thought I would go for a visit," said Styx over the phone. The metal horse is taking a leave of absence...

Tale of Wolfman College

Tale of Wolfman College

Melina Hughes October 31, 2013

It was a gorgeous 65 degree fall day, a light, crisp breeze ruffling the leaves under the golden autumn sun. A lovely day by all accounts, but that was the day the wolves came to Whitman College... It...

Student Just Wants Burger Instead of Quinoa

Student Just Wants Burger Instead of Quinoa

Melina Hughes September 19, 2013

Last Friday, as eager first-year Kip Stevens entered Jewett Dining Hall, he was ecstatic to hear that there were, once again, burgers for lunch. "I really love hamburgers. I, like, could eat like...

First-Year Roomies Not Best Friends

Rosemary Hanson September 19, 2013

Scandal rocked the quiet little community of Lyman House just outside of Anderson Hall last Friday, Sept. 13. At approximately 7:16 p.m. local time, nearby resident assistants received information of a...


Rosemary Hanson September 19, 2013

Hookups (Boning, Banging and More Boning - the original BBMB): Tom ('17) and Linda ('15): Off-campus house near Safeway Tom ('17) and Amanda ('15): Off-campus house near Safeway Jeff ('15) and...

Lost & Found

Molly Johanson September 19, 2013

Found near the libes: Swipe card in ID card holder attached to Whitman College lanyard. Found in Olin Hall: Nalgene bottle with 15+ stickers on it. Come by Prentiss Room 106 to claim it. If you can...

Housemates: Heaven or hell

caricortez November 10, 2011

It's about that time of year when you've spent a solid amount of time with your new housemates. And now that you have a handle on their behaviors, you can start developing peeves which will haunt you for...

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