Whitman Wire

Club Disbands After Members Exhaust Dating Options

Martina Pansze

April 1, 2016

Following a press release on Tuesday, the Whitman Alpine Luge Team (WALT) will be disbanding indefinitely.

I Love My Mom

Jack Swain, staff writer

February 18, 2016

I took a shower today. The walls of my shower are made of square tiles. Some of the tiles are white and some of them are light blue. There is a circular metal shower-head at the top of the shower. There is a circular metal drain at the bottom of the shower. Water appears from the top and disappears dow...

Backpage rant: Lifestyle choices survey edition

Kyle Seasly

February 19, 2015

It's that time of year again when the dude who is rumored to be Kris Kristofferson's long-lost brother sends out an email entitled "Whitman Lifestyle Choices Survey." When one imagines the Whitman lifestyle, a few images come to mind: eating Walla Walla sweet onions on designated Wednesday evenings,...

The Backpage pontificates

Kyle Seasly

October 30, 2014

Dear Backpage, I feel like a dolphin caught in a six-pack ring. Thank Oceanus I have you guys. Anyway, this girl I'm into acts like I don't even exist. We were partners in Encounters when we discussed Sartre, so I know she at least knows that. What should I do to get her to notice me? Plz halp. Advicereciever69 Dear...

Whitman College wins award for economic homogeny

Trevor Lewis

September 25, 2014

When I discovered Whitman College was ranked first in economic homogeneity out of 91 excellent schools, I was so overcome with elation that I almost spilled cognac all over my ocelot fur robe (that's 100 percent pure Indonesian ocelot, none of that shit from the Philippines). After hearing the good...

News Briefs

Molly Johanson

April 3, 2014

Styx takes vacation to visit family at PDX Airport "I haven't seen my sisters in years, so I thought I would go for a visit," said Styx over the phone. The metal horse is taking a leave of absence from its spot in front of the science building to visit its fellow Deborah Butterfield sculptures that r...

Tale of Wolfman College

Tale of Wolfman College

Melina Hughes

October 31, 2013

It was a gorgeous 65 degree fall day, a light, crisp breeze ruffling the leaves under the golden autumn sun. A lovely day by all accounts, but that was the day the wolves came to Whitman College... It started slowly, first a wolf was seen smoking behind Olin Hall, a second and third standing in the sandwich line at Prentiss Dining Hal...

Student Just Wants Burger Instead of Quinoa

Student Just Wants Burger Instead of Quinoa

Melina Hughes

September 19, 2013

Last Friday, as eager first-year Kip Stevens entered Jewett Dining Hall, he was ecstatic to hear that there were, once again, burgers for lunch. "I really love hamburgers. I, like, could eat like five of them right now," said Stevens. However, excitement soon turned to tragedy when Stevens attempted to ha...

First-Year Roomies Not Best Friends

Rosemary Hanson

September 19, 2013

Scandal rocked the quiet little community of Lyman House just outside of Anderson Hall last Friday, Sept. 13. At approximately 7:16 p.m. local time, nearby resident assistants received information of a domestic problem in room 216 of the Tower. Initial reports seem to indicate that first-year reside...

Laywatch

Rosemary Hanson

September 19, 2013

Hookups (Boning, Banging and More Boning - the original BBMB): Tom ('17) and Linda ('15): Off-campus house near Safeway Tom ('17) and Amanda ('15): Off-campus house near Safeway Jeff ('15) and himself ('15): Jewett Room 110 James ('17) and Tom ('17): Jewett Room 110, Jewett Room 315, Anders...

Lost & Found

Molly Johanson

September 19, 2013

Found near the libes: Swipe card in ID card holder attached to Whitman College lanyard. Found in Olin Hall: Nalgene bottle with 15+ stickers on it. Come by Prentiss Room 106 to claim it. If you can name five of the stickers, it's yours. Lost sometime during first year: My desire for brunch. It...

Housemates: Heaven or hell

caricortez

November 10, 2011

It's about that time of year when you've spent a solid amount of time with your new housemates. And now that you have a handle on their behaviors, you can start developing peeves which will haunt you for at least the rest of the semester. Here is a breakdown of things you may have noticed that you like...

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