Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

QUIZ: How well do you hide that you’re a STEM major?

Illustration by Helios Santoro


Have you ever woken up in a haze in the Science building student lounge, parts of your problem set tattooed on your face? Have you ever worn those silly little, uh, the special glasses that you wear to make explosions? If so, this quiz is for you! 

1. You always say you have to do homework. BOO! Everyone hates homework, except for STEM majors, who do homework so much because they LOVE it. Everyone knows that no one on this campus, besides STEM majors, has any homework, ever. This is a dead giveaway. Be smarter. 

2. You don’t know how to socialize. It’s not their fault that STEM majors only have beakers, rocks and their favorite Expo markers for friends, but unfortunately, it is quite obvious that they would prefer to titrate rather than conversate when you interact with them. I recommend taking baby steps when exploring the wide world of human interaction. Bring your emotional support pipette if need be. You can do this.  

3. You cannot write a coherent discussion post. I’ve read my fair share of discussion posts in my day, and some of you do not make sense. The sentences are not in order, quotes don’t have page numbers, and I am unable to grasp what, if any, part of the question you are answering. You use 250 words and 100 of them are the same.

4. You have near death experiences in class. Most of us don’t get in any physical danger in our equally (not) worthwhile studies, so this is an obvious hint you are a STEM major. However, having to do 50 pages of reading for the professor to talk about one paragraph on page 47 does feel like psychic torture, so we’re kind of the same. 

There you have it! If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you’re a STEM major hiding in plain sight. Or for you quantitatively minded folks, if you scored more than 1 out of 4, your results are conclusive: it is certain your STEM status is public. 

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