Dear Auntie Lee, 

I’m a first-year student at Whitman, and these last few weeks were rough. I already feel I’ve ruined my future here because of all the embarrassment I’ve caused myself recently. I can’t bring myself to look people in the eyes anymore. I’ll add some highlights.

Right before Gens class, I took a sip of water without realizing my leaky hydro flask (I was just trying to fit in…) had dripped onto my mask. I spent the next fifty minutes looking like I had snotted all over the fabric. Next class, I tried making a point of showing it was from my water bottle, so I went to take a sip in the middle of the prof’s lecture but forgot to pull my mask down. So essentially I waterboarded myself. Everyone looked over when I started coughing, and the water all over my mask probably resembled some intense cough spittle. I got some glares for that. 

Dorm life hasn’t gone any smoother. In the bathroom, I’ve flashed three people and yanked the shower curtain open on two different people. During a section meeting, I reached out my hand to someone and said, “Hi, my name is ___, remind me yours again?” And they were literally my roommate. I tried playing it off as a joke but failed miserably. Hard to come back from that one. 

LT, how can I cope with and move on from this horrifically humiliating week so I can get back to making connections and enjoying my time here at Whitman? I’m on the verge of transferring. 

Sincerely, 

Jumpy Jewetter

Dear Jumpy,

These are just the highlights??? Jesus Christ, kid, oh my God. Oh my God. Um… I hear Lewis & Clark College are pretty accepting of transfer students. That’s all I can say. Sorry.

LT