Total rando shows up to club meeting


Illustration by Anika Vucicevic

Maude Lustig, Giardia Carrier

No one could have anticipated it. Grayson Pools sent out the normal emails, telling his club’s listserv, “meeting in 15 minutes” and “BUMP.” Yet no one ever bumped back. Pools, who is president of the Air Quality club, made his way to the science atrium, the club’s normal meeting spot. His head was drooped, his walk defeated. The air was slightly smoky. 

Pools met every week with Lilith Kitten, club treasurer, to discuss the latest developments in air quality technology, and to take measurements of the surrounding areas. 

“Hey Lilith,” Pools greeted, “did you hear about that smog in Berlin? Pretty crazy, I hear it smells like frog guts.”

“Really?” said a voice from the door, “because I heard that it smells like your mom’s pit.” Grayson and Lilith turned towards the voice, only to discover that it was none other than Giacomo Fracomo, the head of the football team.

“Unless you’re talking about her armpit, I’m about five seconds away from punching you”

“Heh,” said Fracomo, “what else would I be referring to?”

“Alright,” said Lilith, interrupting Grayson’s whyIoughtta wind-up, “what brings you to our neck of the woods, Mr. Muscles? Your burning passion for air quality measurement?”

“Actually, yeah. I saw the pathetic emails you guys were sending and thought I might drop by. You know, my grandpa actually invented the Density Inverter K12 for Secondary Ultrafine Carbon.”

“Your grandpa invented DIK-SUC?” Grayson and Lilith couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Yeah, so I know a thing or two about hygroscopicity. What do you say we get out of here Lilith and I can show how to move the lever.” Giacomo winked. “On the machine, of course.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Fracomo, Lilith and I obviously have a thing going.”

Lilith looked back and forth between them, torn. Giacomo bulged his muscles.

“I think I’m gonna go with Giacomo,” Lilith told Grayson and put a hand on his shoulder. “He wants to show me DIK-SUC, and I want to see it. For the club.” Lilith wiped away a single tear. “I’ll tell you all about it.”

Lilith linked arms with Fracomo and they walked out. Stunned, Grayson was frozen in his chair for a moment before being shocked into action. He ran after the two of them out into the harsh light of Ankeny, but they were already gone.

“Why Lilith? Why?” Grayson screamed at the heavens. The smoky sky gave no answer.