Top five x-treme skincare tips for bros

Elise Sanders, Voted Most Likely To Cry In High School

Hey bros, are you ready for some life-changing advice? Of course you are — bros are always down for that. Listen here, I was listening to this scientific podcast the other day and they argued that 3-in-1 body wash does not make a good face wash. Yeah, I was shocked too. But I really trust this podcast, you know? So, I listened to even more podcasts and put together this list to help us bros in this time of hardship.

  1. Invest in a good facial cleanser, bro.

Apparently, there isn’t a king of face washes for bros because everyone’s skin is different. Really, it’s all about trial and error. But us cool bros aren’t afraid of a little experimentation, right? Right. 

2. Destroy those dead skin cells, bro (with a gentle exfoliant).

Alright bros, we gotta make sure we get a good exfoliant. I use an epic seven percent glycolic acid exfoliant. Lucky number seven, bros! Your skin’s like William Wallace, bro, it answers to no one. You gotta respect that, man. 

3. Put on some epic sunscreen, bro.

Ok, bros, you need some sunscreen! Tans are hot and all, but the sun gives off really harmful UV rays. Not cool, dudes. So, buy some sunscreen. Defeat the sun, show it who’s boss!

4. Put on some moisturizer, bro.

Yeah, moisturizer seems lame, but it’s really epic. Even if your skin isn’t flaking or feeling dry, you still need it.  You gotta protect your moisture barrier; it’s like your own little forcefield, bro. 

5. Eat right and sleep well, bro.

Eating a lot of sugar and not sleeping right can really harm your skin. Take care of yourself, bros. Of course, every bro knows they gotta let loose every now and then. Just remember to eat right and sleep well, and your skin will say, “Thanks, bro.”

Illustration by Megan Waldau