Pretentious Student Overly Proud of Guatemala Spring Break Service Trip

Ben Freedman, humor editor

Intent on venturing abroad during break while still helping out the less fortunate, first-year Brian Saunders selflessly spent his Spring Break painting doors throughout rural southeastern Guatemala.

Having turned down tantalizing offers from friends to go to Cabo or Miami, Saunders is satisfied with his decision to actually make a difference in the world over the break. “It’s always tough to say no to the boys, but those poor Guatemalans needed me. Spending three days painting doors was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and knowing I changed the lives of some emaciated townspeople is really incredible.”

The travel expenses were large, but after carefully analyzing all options, Saunders concluded that his 1200 dollars spent on airfare could not have been used in a more productive way.

When asked whether any long-term benefits to Guatemala would come about from his trip, the student shrugged, noting that it was simply great to learn from one another. “Now I know what it’s like to live life as a poor villager without hope of upward social mobility, and they know what first world success looks like. It’s a win-win really.”

“It’s the experience that matters anyway,” continued Saunders. “Gaining a superficial understanding of Guatemalan culture and traditions really helped me feel like one of them. As it turns out, we aren’t so different after all. Hell, the Gonzalez family actually seemed kind of American.”

Although it will be a while until he embarks on another journey to a foreign country, Saunders intends to take many more service trips while he is still young and adventurous. “There are only so many opportunities to make cursory level relationships with the developing world, so I have to make the most of the time I have. God forbid there is another outbreak of Ebola or SARS or something, but if it happens, I’ll be there!”