Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Oh yeah, I forgot, the yearbook

After the Associated Students of Whitman College (ASWC) narrowly voted against decommissioning Waiilatpu, the college’s yearbook, various students across campus reported that, oh yeah, guess we have a yearbook at Whitman again.

Although Waiilatpu will receive much less funding than its supporters had hoped, ASWC’s decision ensures that, uh, the … oh yeah, the yearbook will continue being printed for at least another year.

“Uhh … ” said ASWC Finance Chair Cam Cadeghi. “Wait, what?”

Eighth-year Marshall Davis, ASWC’s hardline fiscal conservative, is unhappy with the decision.

“Christ, we spend a lot of money.  Where do we get all that fucking money? First those kids wanted to go rock climbing and then there was that whole thing with the school newspaper and the feminists and now … what was the question?” Davis appeared confused when we reminded him that we’d asked about the, um, yearbook, but we must have appeared confused too because we forgot the damn thing existed. “Wait, we have a scrapbook?” said Davis.

Opinions about the thing varied considerably. Many students expressed a gentle indifference, like junior Max Michaelson, who told reporters that “uhhhhh … what?” while others demonstrated something like impassioned unawareness, like senior Anne Wadson, who noted that “?????!” Generally, though, sources across campus concurred that oh, right, the yearbook.

Outgoing ASWC President Vaykon Raccoonzian wasn’t sure if, uh, he missed something when the resolution to decommission the yearbook failed.

“Wow. I mean, talk about a … Jesus, this, uh, yearbook really is a thing now, I guess. They just really snuck that one in there. Did I, uh, just totally miss that one?” said Raccoonzian, pointing out that “I don’t know if anyone really realized it.”

So, uh, there’s that, sources added.


Waiilatpu ordered 150 copies of this … Waiilatpu … of the 150 … yearbook. For this year? Yeah, that’s right. Several members of Waiilatpu admitted that “yeah, we wanted to do that whole thing while ASWC wasn’t really looking” and “Got ‘em!” Marshall Davis, on the other hand, expressed his excitement with Whitman’s “new football team.”

“We see it … the, uh, the … yearbook, I mean, as really important to preserving, uh, Whitman’s whole history,” said Parker Zachary, an outspoken supporter of the, well, you know.

First-year Jacqueline Hardcastle, meanwhile, seemed to have a little better idea as to what was going on and stuff.

“I’m gonna try and get the quarterback to sign it!” she reported.

An ASWC-sponsored survey was released last week in order to better understand public opinion of the .74 percent of respondents voted that “Wait, a what?”, while 53 percent voted that “Oh, right. Well, this is happening.” Only 11 percent of respondents remembered having their pictures taken for the thing, you know, that we’ve been talking about this whole…

Oh. Okay. Right.

Christ, how’d they do that?

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

All Whitman Wire Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *