Whitman Wire

I’m uninspired and anti-opinionated

Cara Lowry

April 1, 2012

This column was actually authored by Carl. Whitties seem to be riled up and impassioned about everything. Race. War. Poverty. Injustice. Hypocrisy. Bigotry. Duck rape. If there's something perceptibly wrong with the world, there's sure to be a club of activists trying their darndest to fix it. My favorite phenomeno...

How Twitter stole my soul

Karah Kemmerly

April 1, 2012

It almost pains me to say it, but I'm online. Not just Facebook online. Everyone has a Facebook. My grandfather has a Facebook. He even updates it. No, this is worse than Facebook. I recently got myself a tweet page. My introduction to the Twitter website was a somewhat embarrassing one. I was sitting...

The Pio regrets…

The Pio regrets…

Sara Rasmussen

April 1, 2012

The year in mistakes, embarrassments, and misjudgments. The Pioneer staff regrets winning second- and third-place awards in web design and print design, respectively. You can't drink tequila out of those paper awards. Sure, we may already have two trophies to use, but that's just not enough for us. ...

Whitman administrator caught “red-dotting”

Kyle Seasly

April 1, 2012

It's springtime and love is in the air. At least that's what a Whitman administrator kept shouting last weekend when she showed up to an all-campus party, followed by, "Let's do one more shot!" The administrator, who will remain unnamed, broke several campus rules when she decided to attend an all...

Recipe: Mama Jess’s Homemade Mystery Muffins

Backpage Team

April 1, 2012

Preheat oven to 350°F ¼ tbsp kosher salt 1 cup gluten-free rice flour 2 tbsp garlic salt 1 egg ½ cup apple peels ¼ cup pollinated flax seed ¼ cup Corn-Nuts© (Ranch Flavor) ¼ tsp celery salt ¼ tsp rock salt ¼ tsp baking powder For frosting ½ cup heavy whipping cream (goat's mil...

Shit bothering Karah this week

Karah Kemmerly

April 1, 2012

Dear readers, I thought I would introduce myself and this column by sharing with you the list of some of my greatest pet peeves. I know this isn't totally in line with the title of the column, but let's be honest: This isn't about to become a weekly feature. It makes more sense to detail the most hei...

The penises are coming!

Theo Pratt

April 1, 2012

Many Whitman students saw the production of "The Vagina Monologues" more than a month ago. It was a rather touching symphony that led to questioning, revelation and understanding by the audience. One was seized by the moment, physically struggling to contain his emotion. Another found the mono...

Whitman ballers Fuck Shit Up

Pamela London

April 1, 2012

Move over basketball; step aside swimming and cross-country. There is a new sport in town, and it is taking campus by storm! Ever heard of Fuck Shit Up? Don't worry if you said no, you are not alone. In a poll of various Whitman community members, 97 percent of students and faculty said they had...

Hipster of the week: Ethan Parrish ’14

The Editors

April 1, 2012

Every week, The Pioneer searches out Whitties who bring an extra splash of unpretentious fashion consciousness and sartorial daring to campus. This week's Style Spotlight: sophomore Ethan Parrish. Style Soundbites "I found these shoes in a really small thrift store in Portland. But not like...

KWCW Show of the Week: The Auto DJ

Sara Rasmussen

April 1, 2012

"Auto DJ" Auto DJ is the chillest bro you'll ever meet. When he's on the airwaves, he lets the music speak, and it says, "Dude––this is hipster college radio at its finest." Auto DJ spins the music you want, like indie, alt rock and anything you've never heard of, all with a few Peace Corps PSAs...

Whitman Announces New Interest Houses

Whitman Announces New Interest Houses

Sam Chapman

April 1, 2012

With the Whitman administration having completed the latest in a series of shady land deals, the college is proud to announce the expansion of the Interest House Community to better accommodate the diverse hobbies of the student body. Here are just a few of the exciting new living options for next ...

Very interesting and important stuff ASWC did

Shelly Le

April 1, 2012

To prove how separate The Pio is from ASWC and stuff, we report on their every move. Follow News Editor Shelly Le's harrowing account of ASWC's latest activities. Request of $2000 from from Service Learning Organization Fund by Anonymous of whitmanencounters.com for further development and growth of the...

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