Your Mom’s Gonna Love That New Ying-Yang Face Tattoo   “Why are Finals?” and Other Questions Asked in the Quiet Room at 4:00a.m.   Local First-Year Can’t Wait to Continue...

Whitman student Jackie Daniels is totally freaking out right now because baseball team beauty Mike Bellafonte held open the door for her on her way to class, even though she was more than thirty feet away...

--Fidel Castro figures Trump Presidency as good a time as any to peace out --Reince Priebus revokes President-elect Trump’s Twitter access until he finishes last bite of steak --Nation’s liberals...

MONDAY Study: BBMB Majors choose course of study solely for intellectual self-aggrandizement TUESDAY Thanksgiving dinner with Wisconsin extended family poses foreseeable conflict WEDNESDAY Beginning...

-Post-80s dance Prentiss brunch the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is nigh -RA spends a heartbreaking amount of time making bathroom “Crush Board” poster that will be covered in phallic imagery...