Whitman Wire

Circuit 8 Horoscopes

Elena Aragon

August 29, 2013

Aries- Your plans to get Cheetos from the vending machine are foiled when you discover, much to your chagrin, that you have only 80 cents to your name and that item in B5 costs $1.50. Taurus- On your next trip to Goodwill, you will become mysteriously compelled to buy a VCR only for the purpose of...

Circuit Horoscopes

Elena Aragon

March 21, 2013

Aries- An unfortunate henna accident will cause people to ask you why they never noticed your skin disorder before.   Taurus- When someone confronts you about one of your offensive tweets, you adopt the "if you never offend someone you ain't tweeting right" philosophy.   Gemini-...

November & December Circuit Horoscopes

Elena Aragon

November 26, 2012

Aries: You will encounter a ferocious squirrel this week that will stop at nothing to get a bite of your Graze turkey sandwich. Taurus: Your section-mate will share their taco shells with queso sauce with you, becoming the highlight moment of your week. Gemini: Your excitement about the return...

Fall 2012 Horoscopes

Elena Aragon

August 23, 2012

Aries You will finally learn that it takes a whopping nine minutes to reach Olin Hall from the dreaded SoBo, after being late to class every day the first week. Taurus Victory will be yours next week when you manage to get your load through the Jewett laundry room in under four hours. Gemini It...

Post-Graduation Horoscopes

Elena Aragon

May 9, 2012

Aries: You feel a less than warm welcome to the corporate world when you realize it's back to freshman status treatment for the third time, cause you thought you were finally an adult at the age of 22. Taurus: Although you are an economics major, you will have a few struggles next April as you disco...

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