Bloody, raw and absolutely hilarious, the “Locked Tomb” series by Tamsyn Muir is the perfect blend of humor and devastation for your Halloween reading season. 

The world of the “Locked Tomb” is a bleak one. Humanity is divided up between planets numbered one through nine. These planets are called the houses, and each corresponds to a specific role in the society. The First House is occupied by the Emperor, the Necrolord Prime, who has reigned for 10,000 years. 

In these 10,000 years, a portion of the population has developed a special connection with “thanergy” — the energy of death —  harnessing it through magic of the bone, flesh and spirit. These people are necromancers, each paired with a sword-bearing cavalier to provide them with fresh death.

The series begins with “Gideon the Ninth,” which follows Gideon Nav – big, butch, armed and dangerous. After the latest in a series of unsuccessful escape attempts from her indentured servitude to the Ninth House, she is forced to adopt the role of cavalier to her childhood nemesis and Reverend Daughter, Harrowhark Nonagesimus. 

I was recommended the series by multiple of my dear friends, and so, as so often happens with the recommendations given to me, I procrastinated on reading it for about four and a half years. Then, at the beginning of the semester, I realized I had nothing to read and I was terribly bored. 

So, after my single Friday class, I walked down to Book & Game Co. in Walla Walla city center and purchased “Gideon the Ninth.” I was half expecting to DNF it and abandon my copy to sit in dusty defeat on my bookshelf, waiting to be eventually taken to be resold at Powell’s Books in Portland. Even as I read the first few chapters, I was preparing my sad little announcement. 

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t get into it,” I’d say, punctuated by a frowning emoticon.

On Monday morning, I walked downtown before class so I could get to Book & Game Co. when it opened in order to purchase the next two books in the series. That weekend I’d devoured it, front to back, the ending causing me to pace around my room like a tiger in an undersized cage.

I was obsessed, and it felt so wonderfully good.

Muir’s prose, once you get into it, is gut-wrenching and horrible and hysterical all in one. With references to such Tumblr classics as “none pizza with left beef” and “while you were busy x, I was studying the blade” sprinkled in between heartbreaking and authentic emotional pain being inflicted on each character, it’s no wonder the series has become a modern classic.

Gideon Nav has joined the ranks of my favorite book characters ever, and Nona from the third book is up there, too. Both are so charmingly weird, and also just charming. 

Gideon and Harrowhark’s relationship is so refreshingly messy, too. The two (spoiler alert) have the only true enemies-to-lovers arc I’ve seen in years, but it’s also so much more complicated than that in a way that’s like genuine catnip to me. 

Even outside the main pair, all of Muir’s characters are so vibrantly alive — even the ones who are dead! Even the ones with barely any time on the page are so clearly densely packed with a lifetime’s worth of context, just like a real person might be. 

Each book is a more confusing read than the last, and none of the protagonists reliable narrators in the slightest. It’s amazing! So often one picks up a book, only to find that every character knows exactly what’s going on at any given moment, and there’s a sense that all but the properly foreshadowed ones are cushy and safe. Those books are boring. 

Halloween is swiftly approaching, and if you’re at all like me, you’ll have been looking for some treats to consume to get into that good spooky mood. The “Locked Tomb” is perfect for that. I’m planning on rereading the whole series this month, but I’ll actually be annotating this time. With how rich and dense the whole series is, I’m sure I could read it another three times and still find something new on each reread.

There’s truly something for everyone who doesn’t mind a bit of gore. The worldbuilding is well thought out and genuinely haunting. The atmosphere is wonderfully weird, tense and terrifying. Each character is a masterwork in their own right on how to make characters who are awful people and still amazing to read. The relationships (platonic and romantic both) are chaotic, compelling and tender in a way that itches my brain just right.

I rate the series a cool 11 out of 10 human skulls. Don’t worry — they’re ethically sourced.