Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 9
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

International Students Form Jet Lag Support Group

Illustration by Edyn Parsell

In a groundbreaking move that has left the Whitman community buzzing, a group of international students has taken a bold step to address a common yet often overlooked issue: jet lag. The newly formed Jet Lag Support Group (JLSG), born out of the pain of 10 hour SeaTac layovers, aims to provide a safe space for students suffering from the time zone blues, where they can share their experiences, coping strategies and, most importantly, their most bizarre jet lag-induced hallucinations. 

The group’s founder Aibak Cheema, a bleary-eyed student from southern Pakistan, shared his inspiration for starting the JLSG.

“After my third consecutive night seeing a screaming child in the seat behind me in my dreams, I realized we needed a support system,” he said, sipping his fifth cup of coffee for the morning. “Jet lag isn’t just about being sleepy at odd hours; it’s about the shared trauma of hallucinating your economics professor as a dancing llama during a midterm.”

Meetings are held at the most unconventional times, catering to the erratic sleep schedules of its members. The agenda typically includes a round of introductions, where each member states their name, country of origin and the weirdest place they’ve fallen asleep on campus. This is followed by a group discussion on topics such as “Navigating 8 AM Classes on Three Hours of Sleep” and “Espresso Shots: Friend or Foe?” Business is booming on the corner outside after most meetings, where attendants can be found huddled near Adderall dealers. We have not been able to confirm if they ask for prescriptions.

One of the group’s most popular initiatives is the “Nap Buddy System,” where members pair up to ensure that no one sleeps through an entire day of classes. They’re also lobbying for the installation of hammocks in every academic building, a proposal that has gained surprising support from the sleep-deprived student body.

The JLSG’s impact has been profound, with members reporting a significant decrease in accidental nocturnal adventures.

“Last week, I only totally dissociated from my body and mind once during Computer System Fundamentals,” shared a relieved member. “The support group is really helping.”

As the JLSG continues to grow, its members remain united in their quest to conquer jet lag, one bizarre hallucination at a time. After all, in the words of the group’s motto: “We may be from different time zones, but in our sleep-deprived delirium, we are one.”

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