The week we get off at the end of November always comes at the right time: when you are literally falling apart. So why would anyone want to spend one of those precious days traversing the harrowing conversational terrain inevitably created when you trap your whole family in a room? I don’t know, but if you absolutely can’t get out of it, use these tips to ease the physical pain of having to converse with family so distant they are functionally strangers: 

1. Wear really fancy boots. Diffuse awkward tension with a great pair of boots, preferably in an eye-catching color like fuchsia, lime green or indigo. I recommend this because you will not have to make eye contact, as everyone will be staring at your boots. Harmony should form among even your most argumentative family members, because they will gang up on you about the boots. This option is self-sacrificial, but a near slam dunk. 
2. Talk about your thesis. If you’re a senior in college, Thanksgiving is going to be tough. Your family might be polite and avoid talking about ‘your plans after graduation’, but they can’t help but ask about your thesis. Give the dogs a bone, and actually tell them. Launching into a seven minute spiel on Spotify, cultural omnivorousness and the democratization of music taste will make them never ask again. 
3. Sylvanian Drama Lore. Once the group is on a disastrous dinner discussion path, it can be hard to switch tracks. If you don’t enjoy watching a train wreck happen, try this: every time a conversation gets charged, connect it to a story about your friends, but your friends are actually the characters in @sylvaniandrama on TikTok. For example: Your uncle says he thinks 5G makes kids gay. You jump in with that one time when you were at a picnic and one of your friends collapsed so you asked your other friend to call 911, and they said no, I’m reducing screen time. Now everyone’s talking about how messed up that is, and no one has to discuss the merits of 5G-homosexuality theory. 

Good luck out there.