Tragedy struck when a group of Jewett residents traveled to Menlo Park to play basketball after finding a ball on Ankeny. They rushed back to their rooms and grabbed everything they needed: water bottles, Whitman-branded socks and athletic Birkenstocks.

They split into teams and readied themselves for an intense game. It was not until the tip-off that one player noticed it was actually a frisbee with a basketball-pattern. 

They decided to play anyway. The tip-off was caught and the first dribble caused the frisbee to roll down the court between the opponent’s legs. The frisbee did that little spinny thing frisbees always do where you can’t catch them because they turn and roll the opposite direction as soon as you lunge for it.

The player body-checked their defender and snatched the frisbee. They leapt two inches off the ground and shot. The frisbee bounced off the backboard and got stuck on the hoop, laying flat across the rim. As none of the players were tall enough to reach it, they returned to campus. 

On Ankeny they hoped to find a soccer ball as a replacement. Luck shone on them as a pair was kicking a ball back and forth and had an extra. They approached to ask to borrow it and realized it had happened again: this pair was kicking a frisbee with a soccer-ball-design.

They rushed to the tennis court to find a sane athlete. One cannot play tennis without a ball. Yet when they got there, no one on the team bat an eye as they hit a tennis-ball-patterned frisbee with their frisbee-racket.

The group feared that they were in purgatory or that, maybe, they were the crazy ones. They gave up, deciding to head to Reid for a game of Table Frisbee Pong instead: a time-honored Whitman tradition which is played exactly as it sounds based on the rest of this article.