Fuck it! Here are some facts about foxes

Cade Schott, Journalist and in fourth grade dressed up as Hillary Clinton for Halloween

We’ve all seen a fox and thought, “geez I wish I knew more about those furry little bastards.” Well wonder no more, friends, because here are some fast facts about foxes. 

Foxes live in underground dens

This protects them from the elements and predators.

Foxes are good parents

Unlike my stepdad Terry who often comes home from work and scolds my mom for not having dinner ready.

Foxes come in all shapes and sizes

The creatures can be anywhere from one and half feet to three and a half feet long. This means that foxes likely cannot drive a car, because they wouldn’t be able to reach the pedals. My stepdad Terry also can’t drive a car because he just got his third DUI.

Foxes have a lot in common with cats 

Like cats, they are the most active after the sun goes down. Also, both foxes and cats have never baked bread. My mom used to bake bread, but has seemed to lose interest in the things she used to love after remarrying. 

Foxes can make up to 40 sounds 

Woah, that’s a lot of sounds! Especially compared to my mom who only seems like she makes one sound after marrying Terry, which is crying. The most notable sound a fox makes is their scream-like howl. 

Foxes are playful

Foxes love to play with other foxes but also other wildlife, like deer. You know who is not playful? My stepdad Terry. Not only does he refuse to play with me, but also makes me feel like my brother’s death was my fault. 

Foxes are solitary 

Once they are adults, foxes hunt and sleep alone. When I am an adult I plan on sleeping alone too, because after my parents’ messy divorce when I was ten and after seeing the way my stepdad Terry treats my mom, I no longer believe in love.