Student forced to quarantine after one night stand

Cade Schott, Journalist and just the right amount of teeth

News that Anderson Hall was in lockdown sent a wave of apprehension over campus. However, the news was likely the scariest for Fryan Inerk, a sophomore economics major, who slithered into the dorm for a late night hookup, not anticipating having to spend the night, and next thing he knew he was receiving a call, text and email from the school to inform him that he would be on lockdown for two weeks.

Illustration by Nick Rogers.

The host of the hookup was Olivia Jones, a first year from the Bay Area. When asked to comment on the situation she expressed what can only be described as unfavorable sentiments. “This was honestly the worst case scenario” she said. “It was not a great hookup to begin with. It was the kind of hookup where afterward you wouldn’t even exchange ‘hellos’ on Ankeny; yet, instead we were locked in a room for two weeks. I tried to make conversation, but he wouldn’t stop talking about the Fast and Furious franchise”

Jones even went as far as to say, “Look I understand the risks associated with COVID-19, and I think people should take it seriously. However, this was so awkward that if him leaving meant a few people got COVID-19, I would be okay with that.”

The unfortunate timing of their hookup forced the two students to struggle to try to attend their Zoom classes simultaneously, as well as compelled them to split the meals delivered from Cleveland dining hall so as to not alert the RA’s of the breach in COVID-19 protocol. 

As a result of the situation, the school is looking into adding a “one night stand” clause into their COVID-19 protocols. The clause would allow students who experience similar circumstances to leave for designated quarantine spaces if they don’t have a fever and also rate the experience below a 6 out of 10. 

Jones concluded by saying that the past two weeks have been “essentially hell.”