Whitman Wire

NASA Discovers New Star

Clara Wheeler, Hollywood Astrologist

February 16, 2017

In breaking news, NASA identified a new star early last week, a couple meters to the right of the sun. The star, named Alice Merkel, is a high-energy being “with just a celestial body,” scientists at NASA gushed. They described Merkel as having a very reactive personality, and she is very excited t...

A Whirlwind Tour of 14 Weeks of Movies

A Whirlwind Tour of 14 Weeks of Movies

Nathan Fisher

September 12, 2013

After a tough spring semester rendered me fried and spent, I limped back home to Tacoma, Wash. with no plans for my 14 weeks of summer except vegging at the movie theater and camping at the Gorge for the Sasquatch Music Festival. After a couple of days of sleep, I was ready to head back to Eastern Wa...

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