Helpful Hilda, the advice column (the return)

Helpful Hilda


Sorry if my tuypong is a little bad .. i am only typing with one hand because i just smashed my other in a car door and it is definitely looking funny and feels like something horrible. Ouch ouch but oh well. Reachingo out if you know a good replaicement for canned corn. I I wanted to bake bread and thought that corn feels like cousins to flour. Am I wrong? Please let me know. Ugh this hand is at like a 90 degree angel! So ugly! My bread will make me feel better.
only thanks from In-Pain-Jane

Dear Bread Jane,

No woories about the mistypes. I’m riding my bike as I wirte back to you, so I migth have some typeos too.n I’ve heard that corn is a mediumly good option for bread but I do think maybe beans are better. %@ I have also heard that if you put a twinkie in a blender with some chives, it will come out a lot like flour. My grandma always said, “Twinkies ‘n chives’ll darn fix any problem you sneakspittlers might have.” Honestly, though, I hardly ever even make bread lately because of this absolutely insane quarantine that we are in. After I went to Mazatlán for my spring break, my idiot boyfriend dumpled me and I’ve been quarantining with my dupmb brother ans sister-in-law and they make their own bread every saturday and they keep it in their stupid house with all their other yucky nice things. They never fight and it’s literlalluly like what are you even doing? Like, all i Literally i have to do at their house is watch Beverly Hils Chihuahua on repeat while drinking Flirtinis and they just sit outside and read and then make beautiful dinners and it’s literaly disGUSTing and so boring. Arguments should be the cornerstone of all relationshiops and don’t forget it.

Don’t forget to double check who is recieving your quarantine snapchats and please please if anyone has seen my credit card please page me a beep