On any average day on Whitman’s campus, you’re bound to find quite a few people skateboarding, blasting past pedestrians with an excited, ‘Shaaaaaaaaaaa brooooooo!’ As common as a sighting of any duck or can of PBR, skateboards quite literally litter the campus–campus garbage collectors’ perspective coming out soon.

However, within this lifestyle, a very special lifestyle masks itself to the untrained eye. The CSC, or Collective of Skateboarding Communists, can only be found by their extremely cool ‘Sickle Handshake.’

As Whitman welcomes nearly every lifestyle, these Commies are not unwelcome on our campus. And truly, these comrades are just like us–they go to class, pretend to do the reading and complain about dining hall food.

“Ya, it’s just a cool way to grind rails, kickflip and try to bring down capitalism,” Vladimir Skatir told The Wire in an exclusive interview. “And we’re a popular club because we’re not centered around table conversations and weird meetings, ya know,” Skatir continued.

The CSC has felt some friction from campus leaders–Chunk Cleavage, specifically.

“These goddamn Commies are just like the previous goddamn Commies. They can put whatever label they want on their goddamn Communism, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be a good idea,” Cleavage said.

Despite the lack of support from the administration, the CSC continues to skate every day and shout parts of “The Communist Manifesto” to each other in hopes to convert people by osmosis.