Complaining about Bon Appétit (or as they call it at Lewis and Clark, “The Bone”) is an age-old pastime at Whitman, going back many, many centuries. But what people need to realize is that it’s all old hat. How do we make it new hat? Make a drinking game out of it, duh. Very simple rules: if the following happens at the Bone, drink. If you want to add more rules, go for it. Here they are.

• Every time the milk machine is out of milk. DRINK.

• Every time the Jewett salad bar runs out of salad things before you get there. DRINK.

• Grilled Cheese Monday. DRINK.

• Every time someone complains about Prentiss being too vegetarian. DRINK.

• Can’t find a seat at brunch. DRINK.

• You want to sit at a booth with a buddy, but it’s just him and his girlfriend. DRINK.

• You just want a fork, but people won’t move. DRINK.

• You finally get there . . . no forks. DRINK.

• Dessert is gone when you come back for it. DRINK.

• When Jewett finally gets its soft serve back. SHOTGUN.

-When someone fianlly notices that the “Eat Local Challenge” is a total sham. SHOTGUN BAILEY’S.+