Whitman Wire

Uh-oh: Carry-on Crisis Cracks Criminal Crab’s Crisp ‘Calm’ Countenance

Winston Weigand, Future Survivor Contestant

February 15, 2018

On the morning of February 9, a large and very noisy disturbance was underway at the JFK airport in Queens, New York. Some witnesses reported hearing the commotion from hundreds of yards away, sitting in their cars in the arrivals lane and taking way too fucking long to get out and load their grandma’s...

What to do When You’ve Forgotten Someone’s Name

Clara Wheeler, Humor Writer

November 10, 2016

Uh oh. That person sees you again. You know the one, the nice young woman who knows your name but you have absolutely no idea who she is. Where do you know each other from? A shared class? Club activity? One night stand? She smiles at you and greets you by name. “Hey you,” you say before you pass each other...

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