Whitman Wire

Foot fetishists urge public to make carbon footprint as large as possible

Ann Karneus, Toe Sucker

March 12, 2020

Last week, Foot Fetishists United (FFU) issued a controversial press release stating that they are in support of climate change.  “While overwhelming scientific evidence shows that the planet is warming, we actually see this as a positive footstep in the right direction. We urge the public to r...

Fierce Competition Predicted for Oscars

Fierce Competition Predicted for Oscars

Nathan Fisher

February 27, 2014

Move aside "Downton Abbey" and "Good Wife," because the Oscars are on Sunday, March 2. That's right, the golden phallus, the Academy Award of Merit, dubbed the Oscars, will be awarded to the top dogs in the film industry. This year's competition was fierce, and it showcased a plethora of standout movies....

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