Here’s how the game works: While attending Whitman College, I slowly started to accumulate the names and faces of a lot of people. This could’ve been from a living situation, a random house party or a nasty rumor I’ve heard on Yikyak. I introduce myself to fellow students, and the web starts to grow. Time passes, the web slowly fades and I sometimes even forget who I’ve introduced myself to. Then, BAM, I noticed someone while studying at Reid. It takes me a second, but I realize, “Huh…I remember you.” Then, at the same time, in their own special way, they remember you too. So the question stands, “Will I say hi?”
The game of chicken is: two people provoking each other until someone feels so awkward that they concede, and then gets called a chicken repeatedly. The game of chicken was chosen for this phenomenon because the sheer awkwardness drives the game. In this case of “Will I say hi?” chicken, it’s the opposite; both of you are trying to avoid an awkward situation. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you the reintroduction is always awkward. Of course, there is the rare case of someone saying hello every time despite the awkwardness, also known as an extra-extrovert.
But a majority of the time, I’ve seen a lot of people do this awkward little half-wave. Why is there this sense of fear within us when we see someone we recognize? I believe there are three main reasons why this phenomenon occurs. Firstly, I have to run through my mind just to remember if I knew you in the first place. I imagine I have a little me in my brain running around filing cabinets, trying to find a specific personal file. The moment passes in front of my eyes, and they’ve walked away.
The second reason is that when living within a small community, sometimes you don’t want everybody to know your name. The prior histories, incidents, and past relationships will come to the forefront when looking at someone. I don’t see an individual, I see a friend’s ex, or someone who used A.I. for a drawing class or even an annoying person I remember from Jewett. So all these prior assumptions are running through my head at lightning speed, trying to see if I even want to talk to this person I recognize.
The final reason why I don’t wave at people is that I don’t think they’ll care. Everyone is in their own little world. The cruelest thing is when someone gives the “who are you” look and then slowly turns the other way. With this gigantic web of people, people and faces slip through the cracks. I understand, sympathize and have even done this myself. But after four years of this, it does get tiring and starts to feel inauthentic and superficial.
In light of this, I decided to adventure out and start saying hello to people again. In this time of rampant individualism, in addition to the overall depressing atmosphere we live in, I want to try to push against it. It’s great to receive an unexpected hello from an old friend. Noticing each other and the simple act of saying hello is the first step to building community, both inward and outward. What we as Whitman College students have to deal with on a day-to-day basis, work, school and dealing with general angst, is a difficult task to do all alone. If we just give each other a little more grace, a little acknowledgment and find the willingness to remind people of our names every once in a while, Whitman College would be a lot more friendly. So I ask you, the Whitman community and beyond, to say hello to more people. Try to put aside your anxieties and fears. Stop being a chicken and say “hello.”
