Whenever I’m asked if I’ve had a romantic relationship, or any sort of fling in my life, I’m constantly met with surprised faces when I utter the word “no.” (At least nothing that I would consider serious.) I could never understand their disbelief in what I had confessed. I may often joke with my friends about my never-ending list of crushes or random desires to get a boyfriend, however, I have never truly had an indomitable desire to be in a romantic relationship. I have nevertheless lived a fulfilling life, despite the lack thereof. 

Every time I go on social media, I inevitably encounter posts that ludicrously say “your 3rd @ is thinking about you” or watch videos of tarot card readers who prophesy your fate, saying “the person you are longing for is also yearning for you” or “your ex is coming back to rekindle the flame you’ve once ignited.” This may seem harmless and exciting at first, but content like this feeds into our delusions. It unknowingly pressures us to conform to society’s expectations and presumed life requirements of being in a romantic relationship. It implies that if you’ve never had a significant someone or haven’t experienced a budding romance, there must be something wrong with you. 

Not only does this instill insecurities within us, making us question our worth and quality to be loved and wanted, but it also causes us to overlook the other types of relationships that are just as meaningful and fulfilling as the utopia of romance — such as platonic love. 

Platonic love originates from the ancient philosopher Plato, from whom the name is derived. In his work “The Symposium,” Plato discusses love as a force that encompasses physical attraction, allowing us to obtain deeper intellectual and spiritual bonds. It then evolved into the modern concept we know today as a non-romantic and non-sexual type of love. 

Platonic love often manifests in the form of friendship and companionship. It is a powerful force of connection that enables us to obtain a kind of wisdom we cannot acquire in other types of relationships. However, as we tend to focus more on romantic relationships, we tend to discount the blessings and beauty of this type of love. 

It’s in the moments of heart-to-heart conversations with my friends about our lost childhoods. It’s spending an hour at Cleve for dinner, talking about a multitude of things over stale salad because it’s the only convenient time we could gather due to our busy schedules. These moments are when I constantly realize my cup can be filled through the comfort and joy of being with my friends. 

I found beauty and contentment in the platonic relationships I’ve formed throughout my life, and it is what keeps me from thinking I’m undeserving of love because of my lack of a romantic life. 

In a society that constantly pressures us to find our soulmates or “one true love,” let us not forget the meaningful relationships we’ve formed through platonic love. There is so much strength and purpose one can discover and experience through our emotional connections with friends. There’s no such thing as a normative life timeline and a definite deadline by which we must fulfill such superficial requirements.

If you’re worried about how you’re already in college and still haven’t experienced a tale of a heart-fluttering or even heartbreaking romance, fret not. We still have hundreds of pages in our lives waiting to be colored and fulfilled. Even if that journey unfolds in the absence of romantic love, the truest and sincerest forms of platonic relationships you’ve built will always be there, coloring those pages with you— creating a kaleidoscope of cherished memories that serve as a remembrance for our fleeting lives. This, to me, is the encompassing power of platonic love.