Toxic Masculinity in the Gym
February 15, 2018
Going to the Baker Ferguson Fitness Center has been full of interesting moments, and one that I can’t seem to shake off has been the toxic masculinity surrounding BFFC. As a woman, I often feel uncomfortable for entering the imaginary line past the cardio equipment and closer to the squat racks. Throughout my life, I have been exposed to weight lifting and cross training workouts, so I never felt like I did not belong in the weightlifting world until I came to Whitman. It is not uncommon for me to have my equipment taken away without permission and have my surrounding space infiltrated by men while working out at the BFFC. There were times where I had to stop working out because someone got in my way. Moments like these make me feel unwelcome in a common space. I see it throughout the gym, most women are on the cardio machines while the men are closer to the weightlifting equipment. When talking about this gender divide, it is not uncommon for other women on campus to express the same concerns.
Being at the gym is also hyper-exposing. Whenever I am working on a hard movement, I feel extra eyes on me–it’s a fish bowl. I see other men either looking at my body, my form or making preconceived judgments about my strength. I have caught men staring at my butt as I walk around to gym. This sort of objectification makes me feel small and insignificant and it also distracts me from getting my workout in. I don’t know how or why a guy can enter the gym and feel entitled to inappropriately stare at any woman. The same rules apply whether someone is in a classroom or at the gym.
One would ask, how can we fix this gender divide and power dynamics at the gym? I believe there needs to be better gym etiquette. I think most people are pretty polite at the gym, there are just those few people that ruin it for the rest of the group. Number One, unrack all your weights and put your equipment away. Other than it being a nuisance, it brings another obstacle for women to not include weight lifting in their workout. Number Two, if there is a water bottle near a weightlifting area, ask around to see if someone is using–don’t just assume it is yours for the taking. Number Three, stop the grunting! Yes, when lifting really heavy weights or doing an intense workout can cause people to grunt to release oxygen while maintaining muscle tightness, but when your grunts sound more like shrieks, it is not as effective. When you yell, it releases the contraction from your muscles and actually makes it harder to make the rep. So please, men and women, keep in mind the amount of space you take up in the gym, both vocally and physically.
Also side note: if you like someone and want to hook-up with them or date them, please just ask or talk to them. It makes it uncomfortable if there is no dialogue and the only interaction has been awkward unwanted gazes at the gym.
Sweetheart, guess what – you are not experiencing toxic masculinity at the gym. You are just experiencing the gym. There are rude people who will take your weights when you walk away and get to close to your personal space; happens to me as a guy all the time. I find grunting annoying as well and it’s another sign of bad gym ettiquette. It’s not a threat to you as a woman. Also, we all judge one another based on form and fitness, not just the females. If I see a dude put 315+ on the bench I’m gonna watch out of the corner of my eye out of professional curiosity to see if he can do it and do it right. I’ve also had women check me out at during my workouts in my tank top and short shorts. I don’t feel objectified – I feel proud. It’s a confidence boost. As for the cardio divide, women do more cardio because there is a widespread misconception that if you lift weights as a woman you will gain a lot of muscle mass and suddenly look like a female bodybuilder. It’s not because they’re scared of the men in the weight room, it’s because they’re scared of trading their boobs for rock hard pectorals. I agree with about half your article. You make some good points but it’s ruined by the woe-is-me as a poor helpless female in a mans world rhetoric. Instead of demanding men give your more space in the weight room, why don’t you get some other ladies who enjoy lifting and take over the weight room for yourselves? It’s a free country.
Wow. Well at least it gave a victim something to be victimized by. Nothings sadder then a victim with no cause. I find that most people snag your weights if you leave the most used weights, like the 20 dumbbells for a period to get a drink, start a conversation and so forth. or they simple didn’t see you using them and they assume someone just didn’t put them back.
AT my peek physically with very low body fat and a build of 195 ive been Oggled a lot, even sexually assault and continued unwanted propositions by women. Things like unwanted spotters when bench pressing as some spandex cougar straddles my head (im not kidding), or the boob brush when a women leans in for a opinion or fained request for help. You see the ladies wearing workout clothes that look like a hooker cross training with full makeup on. It happens to guys, its not a gendered issue.
In that same time frame my work exposed me to a lot of partying, drinking women. In one year I was sexually assaulted daily at least 3 times. I calculate I was sexually assault an low balled calculation of over 900 times. By today’s standards I was rapped by women 3 times, on of which would be a clear rape even then. They were all forced to penetrate. But in many countries thats just a minor assault and maybe a ticked or a suspended sentence if charged at all. They have no law for men getting raped by women.
The hypocrisy of women is starting to be exposed due to social media and the internet getting the facts out there. Domestic Violence? predominately women. http://www.newscastmedia.com/domestic-violence.htm . single domestic violence in a partner/marriage is women assaulting men almost 71% of total assaults, many studies back it up even women in the studies said the same 70%. 2 partner co violence v with the margin of error is 50/50 and women are more likely to start violence and more likely to use a weapon.
If you want to stop the majority of DV, teach women and girls its not ok to hit.
False allegations, if you eliminate the extremes. women say 2% and a study showing 80+ % false accusations, what remains is a clumping of studies that show about 8-14 % of rape/sexual assault accusations by women or the other clump that hovers in the 40+ %
Men are 40% of all rape cases. and many see it as low because just like women men are afraid to come forward. From experience I sought justice once and it ruined my life until my sister recorded my Rapist admitting she lied (spun it to make me the Rapist.) That was 27 years later.
after my year of female sexual assault i had a career of over 25+ years as a soldier. Ive worked and had as a boss females throughout my career. Some are hard nosed dedicated soldiers, but the reality is they are given a different physical standard and it has cost mens lives because a female isn’t strong enough to lift/drag or carry most men. Just a fact. A good friend is partially paralyzed because a female field am medic dropped him 3 timed on her end of a stretcher retrieving him from a mine strike in a mine field. Its relevent because we bayonet cleared a single person path to get the medics to him quickly but could not assist in a life saving timely matter to help carry. She broke his neck.
We were in a shit hole in Africa and a small core of use build a weight room. just a mod tent with truck axlels as weight bars. home made benches, different weights using cement castes and hubs, you name it we built it. other then its silly look like using Jerry cans as dumbbells. It was not a military directive, it was built by 20 of use serious lifters for our use. I was Benching around 305 and like most guys i grunted and made hissing breathing noises and even some vocal noises, well we were told by the CO that good job,the whole unit now has a gym. Within a month the CO gave a order on what we could wear working out, no loud grunting, shouted motivation (spotters) or breathing hard and to give women the ROW to use equipment.
So those of use that built it, started building another but were ordered to stop because we wanted a loud grunt able hissing breath allowed gym, but its was sexist (funny thing we never said no women, it was just a place were we dint have to follow the imposed rules at the last gym/weight tent and women could use it but with the old freedoms allowed.
Instead of these strong independent ladies making their own gym they just made us change. this behavior by western women is endemic. instead of making their own, company, gym (there are women only gyms) they just take it away from men.
First, no one is entitled. Second, why give out the gyms name? It ain’t their fault. Third, you’re going to get looked at no matter what. So either get over it, wear sweats, or gain some weight so they wouldn’t look at you.
All this lamenting and nonsense about “toxic masculinity” because someone looked at you in the gym? This “toxic masculinity” is what keeps you alive, supplied with food and shelter and keeps the lights on and society working. It’s not your “job” in marketing or journalism or anything along these lines that ensures all the needs of people are met so they can survive. It’s all the men out there farming, building, mining or assembling, policing or driving a truck,
How about you start behaving like a grown up and not like an entitled kindergarten child?
Maybe you would prefer the Saudi Arabia gender separation rules incl. a full body cloak and capital punishment for violations of religious rules?
This whole hate movement against men will backfire badly. When men stop working and providing for entitled women much like yourself, it will all come crushing down.
The reason you are in the position to be able to write this kind of nonsense in a free and prosperous society is because of generations of men fighting, inventing, building and working. Now go and check your female privileges as we have come to a point where there are too many of those.