Hello to all you readers of The Wire! Another academic year at our four-year-degree-granting-institution-of-choice has started and the buzz of ~1500 young people fills our campus again. Whether you’re feeling daunted by the four years that stretch out before you like an eternity, or feeling ancient, long in the tooth, downright prehistoric, this list of activities on campus should fill you with verve to enjoy the best month of the school year: the one before it all turns to shit.  

First we have Student Employee Orientation. Man, it doesn’t get more lit on campus than this! Olin Auditorium, our second finest auditorium space? Check! A Tuesday, the best day of the week? Check! An event run by CCEC, Financial Aid AND Payroll? Triple check! Those are my three favorite offices on campus that have never ever driven me to tears. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this event. 

The second activity is the Crack Climbing Clinic. Since it’s happening a little bit later in the month, it gives you just enough time to think about the special person you want to go with! Our state of the art climbing gym is one of the best places on campus for learning this technique, second only to a romantically lit Anderson dorm room. The day before you’ll want to prepare your body and mind for this test of endurance, skill and finger dexterity. Mark your calendars! 

Finally, we have Lakum Duckum at 2 am. I can’t sing enough praises for this activity. It checks all the boxes: fear, intrigue, desire, joy. The ducks performed an aquatic opera complete with costume and scene changes. I laughed, I cried. You can’t call yourself a Whitman student if you haven’t done this one yet.  

There you have it, your very own first month bucket list. Go forth into the month of September and blaze a bright trail, my dear readers.